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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he using me?

2 replies

CarliseT · 18/11/2017 10:24

I have been seeing a man for the last few months, but been in contact for a lot longer. Anyway, to cut a long story short - I feel that he is using me, it has settled to meeting once a week- some meal together and sex in some cheap hotel. He has been in my house but I have never visited his place.

I have refused to see him for the last few weeks, just told him that I was busy. I had two major achievements in my life recently and regardless that we have only been seeing each other for last few months, I expected some flowers, nothing big. I have started to see little red flags here and there, once, when I invited him for dinner and asked him to bring a bottle of wine, he was surprised that I had asked him to bring wine with him when I had a bottle of wine.

I had some problems recently and found that I could not discuss my problems with him, "another red flag?" I don't know where I stand and started seriously hating myself for getting intimate with him.

If we are friends with benefits, I have not seen any benefits in the relationship, so I asked him directly where I stood. He said that we were partners. Partners in what?

I finished with him last night! I am not going to invest my time and energy as I would rather use the time to invest in myself.

OP posts:
Pollydonia · 18/11/2017 10:27

Good on you for finishing it, life is too short to waste energy on a relationship that's going nowhere.

TheNaze73 · 18/11/2017 10:39

I think you’ve done the right thing. He clearly wasn’t that bothered about a relationship.

Don’t think it was a “just sex” thing though from him, if it was only once per week.

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