Need to improve self esteem for sake of relationship

[DietCokeIsBae]

So I'm in a really good relationship, incredible dp and a new baby (10 weeks). We have no issues between us but over the past 18 months I've noticed my sex drive has hit rock bottom and I feel like it's directly linked to my self esteem.

My pregnancy wasn't too enjoyable because I didn't get a lovely round bump due to scar tissue on my stomach that was fused with muscle. To a stranger I would have just looked very overweight (I was already abit overweight beforehand) and it really got me down that I missed out on that lovely silhouette.

Before you ask, I don't think my weight is anything to do with this as I've been overweight our whole relationship and my sex drive was through the roof for a good 2 years. Plus I'm very active most days now that our DS has arrived so I'm not sure exercise is the ultimate answer.

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow for the first time in years which I'm really looking forward to and I've specifically requested a few high end beauty products for my bday and xmas this year to help me feel more on top form. Normally I'm wandering round with no makeup and hair pulled back.

I don't want my sex life to dwindle anymore than it already is as I'm starting to feel incredibly guilty and frustrated and this can not be the thing that ruins an otherwise awesome relationship. I just feel incredibly drab about myself all the time, being stuck in boring nursing bras 24/7 doesn't exactly help.

I'm wondering what other people do to feel awesome about themselves and/or sexy?? I need help getting into beast mode!

You've got a 10 week old baby! I didn't get my sex drive back until my twins were almost 13 months old - give yourself a break! They're 14 months now and I'm just starting to feel more like myself. Don't rush things - your body wants you to focus on your baby, it's a perfectly normal reaction. Just relax and it will get there. Sexy and 10 weeks pp don't really go well together in my experience!

You are 10 weeks post birth.
Please give yourself a break.
It's tough and overwhelming and friggin' hard.
Lack of sleep etc... Of course you don't want sex.
Give yourself more time to recover.
If things don't improve by 3 months and you still feel low then you could have PND so see your GP.
Don't suffer in silence but what you are feeling now is totally normal.

I missed out on that lovely silhouette.

The pressure we put on ourselves by buying into this crap.

Thanks for the replies everyone but other than tiredness I'm not sure this is down to the baby as I felt like this before we got pregnant. Trying for a baby brought it back a little bit but then after that again it dropped.

I'm extremely lucky, I had an easy and uncomplicated pregnancy and labour and my partner works from home so is able to help out with LO in his breaks. I've managed to feel more myself since around the 6 week mark but my self esteem and sex drive haven't followed suit unfortunately. Xx