Moved into partners house but feel unsettled

[user1490649123]

Hi all, Urgent help needed please.
Just abit of background info - I have 2 teenage kids and 1 adult son. After my marriage break up I started a new relationship with whom I have been with for 8+ years now. We initially lived in different cities, I was renting, he had his own house. 3 years ago we decided that I and the kids would move into his house. This was a huge move as it meant uprooting the kids from their schools and starting a new life with my partner in a different city. As my partner had his own house, we got rid of all my belongings, eg washing machine, sofa, etc. basically I got rid of everything cos he had it all in his house. We agreed i’d pay him a certain amount pm. The kids are doing well at school, much better then they would have been in our city tbf. My partners son on the other hand is always in trouble at school and has now been kicked out - in my opinion, down to bad parenting (I would never say this to my partner)
Anyway the situation is now, my partner is picking arguments with my children and making it very difficult for us to live here. I find his arguments unjustified as I see the way his son is treated so differently.
I need to protect my children from his insults over minor issues.
My question is how do I get out of this. I don’t have any extra money for a deposit on a rented house and no support network locally now i’ve moved away.

First off op, well done in putting your children first and protecting them. What a fan mum you are.

Do you have friends or family that could help you financially? Do you work?

It's his jealousy that your childtrg are doing well and his child isnt.

children

It really depends on circumstances. Are you working? Can you afford to rent somewhere local to-your Childrens school? Depending upon what you have been paying to your partner you may have acquired an equitable interest in his property from which he needs to buy you out. If he has a mortgage he shouldn’t have had you living in the house without advising the bank that you were there and you signing to say you wouldn’t claim an interest in the property!

As you’ve only been there 3 years it may not be much but it might help you start again on your own. What happened to the money from he sale of your own goods when you moved in?

I'd call social services see if they can help you get a house, I'd also recommend once your out and safe they look a bit further into his child. Clearly displaying bad behaviour which isn't normal in a happy child

I'd call social services see if they can help you get a house, I'd also recommend once your out and safe they look a bit further into his child. Clearly displaying bad behaviour which isn't normal in a happy child

Pinkpillows, the OP has given NO information which would lead you to think that!

And I'd call social services see if they can help you get a house - yes, because it's really that easy.

and safe - OP is not being abused by her partner.
OP, can you sit down and talk to your partner about his behaviour? Is there any future for your erlationship or do you thin it's reached the end of the road?

If the latter, then are you working? Can you borrow money from anyone? even your partner? What happened to the money from the sale of your belongings? Are you getting CB for your dc?

Have a look at www.entitledto.co.uk/

And maybe think of how you can do things so you're not so vulnerable in future.

It's unlikely social services would get involved in finding a house. However, I'd make enquiries to the local authority about housing options in the town where they live. At least you could put your name on the housing register OP. If social housing is not a possibility, there may be a local scheme to help with a deposit.

Does you adult son work and live with you? If so, that's another person who can contribute to your rent when you move out.

Presumably you're working as your kids are older and you're paying him some rent. Is the issue just deposit but you can afford to rent? In which case, can family help?

And yes, Social Services have nothing to do with this, but you should speak to your local Housing department.

Thin as some PP said,you need to have aserious chat with your partner and explain you are not prepared to tolerate his nastiness towards your children.Watch his reaction-he will be either mortified or defensive. If he takes defensive route and no positive changes happen,then you will have to leave. I would start saving up from today though..

Start saving for a deposit and contact CAB with regards to accommodation and benefits. Getting your ducks in a row first before you have the make or break conversation will strengthen your resolve.

Thank you all for replying. It’s nice to know that someone is always listening.

I am working full time but on a low income so would struggle to rent privately. My adult son did move with us but couldn’t settle ( partly due to my partners behavior,) so has moved back to our home town and is thankfully happy now. I mostly gave away most of my belongings or threw them out. I haven’t met any friends locally and only have I Stepmom who I am reluctant to ask as i’m out of favours. My partners son has always got his own way and never had to face any consequences for his bad behavior., just rewarded.

Can you contact women’s aid they may be able to help you with somewhere to live

Poor you. If on a low income you will get a fair proportion of rent paid by local authority plus tax credits will go up when you move out.
Your kids are only young once, don't subject them to a cunty stepdad, you're all worth much more x

england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/downloads_and_tools/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/help-if-on-a-low-income/