Is he cheating?

[moskwa01]

Hi guys. So my husband and I have been in a bad place lately. Three nights ago we had a fight and he told me he has been avoiding me lately and is distant. Two nights ago we had sex and used a unopened box of 12 condoms. The next morning , I go and check out the box and counted them. There are 13. So since we used one there should be 11. He wakes up before I do and goes to work. Am I over thinking this? Did he buy condoms another time (to have sec with another lady) and then put the extras in the box in our house?
I asked him if we had any extras laying around and he said no, so then I asked him why there are 13 and not 11 and he blames the manufacturing company.

Am I overthinking or not

Wow. I just don't know. But if alarm bells are ringing I would keep my eyes open.

I dunno, i mean perhaps it was just a lucky box. But - I'd be listening to your heart more with the fact you felt the need to count them.

You need more than an extra condom or two to think he's cheating.

Any other signs?

Glued to his phone? Going to the gym more? Better grooming? Later nights than usual?

Can you check the packets and see if they are from the same manufacturing batch?
And I think you need more than that.
But I'm guessing your gut is telling you something is wrong!?
Is he on his phone more?
More secretive with his phone?
Has the sex changed at all?
More adventurous?
Has he bought new clothes, aftershave?
Does he work out more?
Had a new hair cut?

I’d go with your gut instincts. If you think he’s cheating, acting different towards you, sex changed, staying out later than usual, saying he has over time etc etc. He probably has another woman on the go. Keep an eye out for those above things

Mmm, why prompted you to count? Have you had reasons to suspect he could be cheating? Has this led to you snooping, which he knows about, and therefore it isn't unfeasible that he would go to the extreme of adding two condoms from an old box to this one thinking you could find the other one and question it but not that you would actually count this one?

Doesn't make much sense though as he could say the old box is an old box of condoms you use anyway, unless this is the first time you've used them?

I just can't fathom what would be the reason why he would have decided to put more condoms in this box if he was cheating.

Maybe he wanks with them

What other signs? You say bad patch how so?

I know I'm just concerned

We both have been stressed out with work, kids and then we get crabby towards one another. The other night he told me he has been avoiding me:( he has been so distant and cold lately. He promises me he would never do anything cuz he doesn't want to loose his family and have his kids go through a divorce cuz he has. But then things like this happen and then the location on his phone doesn't work anymore (within a week).... I'm so confussed

Aren't condoms all joined together? Were the extra 2 not attached? I'd be going through his phone, personally.

They are joined by 2s. So there were 6 sets of 2's and then a single. To make 13. In a Regular box there are 12 so 6 sets of 2's.
I looked and all had the same lot number and expiration number. But aren't lots usually made in bulk? Not just one box? He claims it is manufacturing error. I have been going through is phone. Downloading some location thing on it and just being more aware. I feel like I'm going crazy though, he makes me feel stupid for thinking this. He says why would he put some in a box we keep in our home, that that's a way to get caught. We have had our issues in the past. When we were dating he wasn't Soley faithful to me-texting other girls in a sexual way. We took a break and got over it. Been married for 8 years now. However when something like this happens and you have been in a rough patch, I can't help but think the worst :(

He has a android now and I have apple. So I try looking for his location these last two weeks and it said he was somewhere 30 mins away from his work...... Odd right? But then it said my phone was over an hour away from.... So I think it's gps error?

This is going a bit extreme. His explanation is really the most likely one when you consider all other alternatives. How did he act when you confronted him? Did he look like someone confused or quickly looking for a lie?

You do seem to be acting quite paranoid though and you have to be careful what this could lead to. Counting condoms, checking many times a day where he is on his mobile, all this with nothing more to go by then you are not getting along great at the moment. If he is innocent, which is more likely, I wonder what impact this has on him. I wouldn't like to be in his shoes.

I think it makes much more sense that a machine accidentally dropped another pack of two condoms in the box than your husband had another box somewhere and popped an extra in the box.

When I lost my phone the other week and logged on to Find My iPhone, it thought my laptop was in Birmingham. It was in London. So those things aren't always reliable.

It sounds like you guys are in a rocky place right now, and you haven't yet 'gotten over' the infidelity when you two were dating. Have you seen a marriage counseller? This sounds like something that needs to be talked out, or it will drive you insane.

Londoncrone

Where does it say infidelity when dating? I'm confused

Pink it looks like OP has changed her name and is now abby01
She states there he wasn't Soley faithful to me-texting other girls in a sexual way

You have posted about this recently havent you? If so on the other thread you admitted there was no other behaviout other than the location on his phone.

If it was you on the other thread, you also admitted that you get like this alot. If so, that may account for him not feeling close to you.

Thanks everyone. It helps to hear others opinions. I think we do need counseling.

I did change my name. :) sorry for the confusion.

Ahh explains it I'm slow at picking up these things

The location on my phone says LOndon and I’m actually in the north east, so I don’t think that can be totally reliable.

Ok so the stuff before you were married, you broke up over it then got back together, you made that choice.

You're now trying to monitor his location and audting the condom usage, that means you either don't trust him or you have a controlling nature.

Unless there are other things at play which you've not said these would ask be red flags to me, is he avoiding you because you are being accusational? Do you have other reasons to suspect cheating.

I forgave him from years ago but have not forgotten. Yes I guess I have trust issues from this and may need to seek professional help.
We had our third child over a year ago. With all the chaos and stress of having 3 wild little ones we have been in a rocky spot.... for couple months.
With that his attitude has changed with me which caused me to think something is up. Has been just cold, distant and mean. Plus he has been doing our checkbook and he has been saying how we are off by 200.... He also started working "late"....
So I started looking at his location. Then I thought to count the condoms cuz I was concerned. I'm the first to admitt I'm insecure about myself and our relationship. However the way he has been acting lately has prompted me to check his location n condoms though.... Make sense? For now, until I find other verification, I'm going to relax and assume it is a manufacturing error.
I'm doing the checkbook now ( we share money) and with the location-I'm just going to stop checking? Technology is not always accurate.