How do you deal with a mummy's boy

[Louw12345]

My partner is 31 he has always gone home for Christmas day.
He wants to spend Christmas day with me and our kids together but his mum isn't happy. My partner has said it's coz he's the youngest (his sister won't be going christmas day either).

So I'm seeing it from a partners point of view but also as a mothers point of view. As we both have children involved as well and I live 40 mins away it's hard for him to just nip home.

I told him he should stay at his mums and come over christmas day but he said it is letting her get her own way coz she has kicked off (she does things like this alot).
Like 1 day he said he was coming here for tea and she didn't speak to him for 2 weeks.
It makes things arkward as I don't want his mum upset but I also don't want him stuck between his mum and me.

Is suggestions on how to deal with this?

Walk the fuck away.

How long have you been together?.

You could always now come second place to his mother and her demands.

The words "uphill struggle" spring to mind with this individual. He has not managed to separate himself from her and she will not cut the apron strings; theirs is a codependent relationship.

It sound like he is sicking up for himself now and plans to spend Christmas with you. What do you need to do? Just let her have her tantrum.

Sticking not sicking!

You send them back to the mummy

I don’t understand the problem. He’s already said he wants to spend it with you

blueskyinmarch yes he is I suppose I feel bad for him,

AttilaTheMeerkat he doesn'tgive in to his mum he does what he wants and leaves her to have a moan, I just feel that he has always gone home for Christmas dinner and this year he doesn't want to she will see it as my fault? If you understand. This will be our 2nd christmas he stayed at home last year.

I think my title is wrong it should of said how to deal with the partners mum who treats him like a mummys boy

Will his mum be alone for Christmas? Would you invite her to yours?

It doesn't have to be a competition. If you have boy dcs, you probably hope they will WANT to see you at Christmas in the future. You sound very reasonable suggesting he does both - it's his choice how the day pans out. His mother doesn't have to be seen to 'win' if he goes to see her but when it suits all of you. Good luck.

Run as fast as fuck.

Why does OP need to run? Her DP is staying with her and their family for Christmas. He isn't being a mummy's boy at all. He sounds great.

She will be with his dad, I have suggested that he said he will ask buy once she is in a better mood. His dad wuldnt want to though he's not very soicalable.
My family and I go to each others each year and this is my year so I have said they are both more than welcome.
He always has his children boxing day and that has normally been their Christmas day. He asked me when mine go to their dads if I would like to spend afew days at his (mums) and I thought it was lovely idea.

ohhelpohnoitsa I totally understand that I really do I think it was coz he's having his kids on Christmas day it will probably be the only christmas we will have together as a family. I don'twant his mum upset and that'd why I told him to stay at home. But he said he wont say anything now coz shes in a moan he will tell him not to bother he actually said a swear word.

blueskyinmarch definitely wrong title ha

Actually he seems to be standing up for himself. Leave his mum to it.

Where does he live? When will he have his children?

Can he spend the day with you then go their for the evening? Can he breakfast there then come to you? It's nice to include everyone at some point, especially if there are dcs involved. See who you want to see, spend time with people who enhance the day / you enhance their day. It shouldn't be a duty.

• ignore spellings of their and there, very tired!

@Sa1ndyY2K yes that's what he wants to do.
@ohhelpohnoitsa he lives with his mum. He has his from children christmas eve this year. Yes I have suggested that to him.
I haven't spoken to him today about it, when I asked how he mum was today and he said yeah she's ok she's been talking to him. I think his dad spoke to her but it still doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it.

It will work itself out for the best. Leave him to decide.

Yes I know it will. I guess it just let it get to me worrying. I was excited about us all being together then felt selfish when his mum was upset.

Anyway we have afew ideas that I have suggested but like you said it's down to him to decide.

You leave them. Pronto.

I'm glad your partner isn't letting his mum walk all over him and it sounds like you've both been quite reasonable. If you and your partner want to spend Christmas together that's what you should do. Can your partner move out and get his own place? Sounds like he needs to keep pushing home that message to his mum - that he is free to make his own decisions.

Mummys boy/man child

Me and my partner contrive together we argued to much so he had his place I have mine and works better.
I'm now 27 weeks pregnant and notice some things.
Hes 39 and his mum does everything for him.
Shes decorated his whole flat, painted walls right to picking out curtains and cushions. She pays his rent (he gives her the money and she pays it) she has a key and lets herself in. Dropping off food and cleaning when hes at work and he lets her.
She has bad mouthed me in the past not accepting me, saying negative things about me to mutual parties. She makes out hes hard done by when hes had an easier life than most. It makes me cringe and skin crawl. I'm going to have a baby with a man child. So glad I dont live with him and not letting her interfere and just turn up at my home. I've tried talking to him about it and he gets defensive and storms off. I've asked for a break from him and can't bare it. It isnt an example I want for my daughter.
She also is very good at manipulating the men In the family and getting people to feel sorry for her and do things and I'm worried what she will be like to my daughter especially when shes older. Worried she will bad mouth me to her. I have a scan this week and cant bare him to even be there as just seems forced and false. I want a Independent partner who supports his partner and child not rely on his mummy. I've no idea what to do anymore. And considering breaking up with him. But worried if I so him and his mother will be more overbearing than ever and more likely to Influence my daughter negatively when comes to me. Please help.

This was meant to be post of it's own sorry