For at least 6 years I have been wanting to leave my husband . Over the course of time I've fallen out of love with him and it's got to the point where we argue all the time and I can't stand being around him . He shows me no affection only when he wants one thing . He doesn't talk to me nicely and 9 times out of 10 when I ask him to do something I'm met with him Being snappy and abrupt . I can't rely on him to do anything without me asking him s million times . He is messy and has no respect for the fact I work full time and I run around doing everything . He leaves everything he uses out and when I ask him
To put things away he ignores me or reluctantly puts things away and causes arguments .
I think manipulates the money we earn . He is allowed to buy what he wants ( he is the main bread winner ) never asks me just goes ahead and orders what he wants . He isn't frivolous and doesn't buy all the time but when it comes to me buying things he scrutinises everything . " what the f did you buy that for ?" " you haven't a clue about money " " you don't get it / understand " are some of the comments he uses to me. I am on the minimum wage and below and so two jobs . I look after children i
At home and I work a few hours every day at the local school . I work all I can to earn money . All my money ( minimum wage ) goes on food , clothes, petrol and anything else we might need ( school dinners , school trips etc ) He gives me £200 per month from his wages and pays the mortgage and bills . The rest he saves . It gets to the point where I am asking for money every month and he will give it but not until I have given a blow by blow account of what I want the money for . He doesn't enjoy xmas as it costs too much where as I love it and everything it entails.
We have arguments every year over what we are buying and the last two Christmas I haven't asked does any money from him to pay for it , I have worked extra hours to cover it because I know if I don't I will get an ear full and him moaning about what a waste of time Christmas is . We never go out and when we do it will be me that books and arranges it . I feel totally taken for granted and unloved and as a result I don't want to be with this person anymore . We often sleep in spectate beds and recently I go upstairs and watch tv in the evenings .
I'm not sure what to do . I have spoken to him about splitting up a few years ago but he told me he is not going anywhere and so things have continued and got worse and worse . My son shows me no respect in the way he talks to me as I'm sure he sees his dad being rude to me and he copies him .
When my husbands not here it all ticks along nicely there are ups and downs With the children but generally it's quite calm . My husband is forever calling my eldest lazy( I agree ) he's negative about his football and he is always having a pop at him . I tell him he is. lazy as he is tired as he does a lot of sport and with school he is tired . My son is only 9 . My husband comes in at 630 pm each night, so he comes in at a time when we have all had dinner and getting ready to chill before the evening .
I have tried over the years being intimate , booking weekends away , spicing things up by dressing up for him . The night I did this I walked downstairs feeling a million dollars when I walked in the lounge he told me he could not find the remote to pause the Tv and started fumbling around trying to find it and totally deflected from what I was trying to do . So I never bothered with that again.
I am so unhappy and I've told him but he ignores me . He tells me he loves me but I don't feel the same way .
What can I do and how to I leave him and what's best for the children . Can anyone help xxxx