My issues are just too trivial

[EasyToEatTiger]

Perhaps I've just had enough. I rattle with drugs but perhaps I am just going round and round in circles. I don't know what to do. I am being told in RL that I am doing all the right things and making the right noises. It doesn't bloody well feel like it.
All you lovely MNers told me years ago that I was in an abusive relationship and it has taken me this long to take it on board, to begin to accept that this is not my fault.
At the moment I am in limbo. I am finally getting divorced (hooray) although it had to be my husband's decision. As a result of his getting me arrested, he is now under investigation. Perhaps I don't believe anything any more.

perhaps I don't believe anything either

What do you need right now?

I thought I was ok. I thought my family was ok. I've had my doubts. Serious doubts over the years. Now I doubt myself. I don't know where to turn or what to ask any more.

EasyToEatTiger are you still living together? I recall you had plans to move out.
I'm afraid I haven't really been able to make sense of your threads this year. I know I could be asking the obvious here.... But have you exhausted all options to leave? The posts always seem to be about the police investigations.

I'm sorry I have been so inarticulate. It has so far been a hideous muddle of wanting to get out, looking at places to move to, having nowhere to move to, looking for places for the animals to be safe... No joined up thinking. Everything has been yes, no, maybe, don't know.
I am getting help now. There are long waits between things and a huge amount of unknowns. I and everyone else who is supporting me are on tenterhooks. Because of the criminal investigation I can't take civil action. I want to believe in fairies at the end of the garden. I just don't know.
My children are being supported by ss, as am I. It is an unholy mess. And I just want to get divorced and get that man out of my life.

My husband is retired and rarely leaves the house. I cannot plan anything.

I'm glad you are getting support even though it all sounds incredibly frustrating for you. It must be very difficult for you and for the children too.

Thank you so much, Wishicouldfastforward for articulating the frustration. Yes, I am anxious and frustrated. I am usually good at getting things done and making things happen. Now I am like a bunny in the headlights and I have never felt so afraid. It is also confusing that my husband's rage has subsided and now he is Mr Normal(ish), so needless to say I doubt myself.
I cannot get anything done. The house needs to be cleared to prepare it for sale. My husband is doing absolutely nothing apart from hanging about, making new friends.