How to win the trust back - please read

[magentastights]

I’ve been seeing a man for four months after coming out of a six year relationship. My ex begged to see me last Monday night, stupidly I agreed and he ended up staying here. We didn’t have sex or go anywhere near each other. I’ve been so stupid - now new man says he can’t trust me and he doesn’t know if it’s fixable. We are still talking, I’m hoping it’s going to be ok.
I’ve never done anything like this before and I’m devastated that I’ve potentially ruined something good. Can anyone help me with how to gain his trust back? I’m so sad

I'm a bit surprised by the "looking at him with different eyes" comment OP. What's he done to warrant that?

bufin Because the OP is choosing to listen to the couple of posters who think his response is a "red flag" and "worrying".

How does he know that you had your Ex over to stay on Monday.
As it's only 4 months in, had you both agreed to be exclusive?
I can see where he is coming from though.
Imagine if this was the other way around.
His Ex went to see him and she stayed over.
I'd not be happy and after only 4 months wouldn't know for sure if he would or wouldn't have sex with her.

Also look at why you allowed your Ex to come over then invite him to stay.
If you were really into this new guy you would have blocked and deleted the Ex by now, surely????
Do you still have feelings for him?
Can you fully commit to the new guy if that's what he wants?

I'm confused, OP, and I hope you can clear it up for me.

On 2 September you had a thread about whether you should meet up with a guy you'd be chatting to on the phone because he sent you a pic and you didn't find him vaguely attractive and didn't know whether to meet him on Monday as arranged or not.

On 9 September you had a thread where you were asking whether you could get pregnant because you were with a new partner and you'd had an ablation.

On 24 October you had a thread entitled "single again" because you'd just split up with a guy.

So, is the new partner you mention on 9 September the guy you mentioned in the thread on 2 September but different from the guy you'd been seeing for a long time in your thread on 24 October and different to the guy in this thread you've been seeing for four months?

You've done it again Shatner.

mmm, I did think it was odd to post this without giving any explanation about what was discussed that evening and more importantly, why the ex would have stayed there despite no physical interaction and then choosing to tell new boyfriend...

That last post explains that the tale is not very black and white!

I'd drop you too, sorry.

swing Sounds like the bloke is probably right not to trust her, especially if they've had the exclusivity chat!

Er...just to point out that if this was a woman saying that her new partner spent a night with his ex, but claims there was no sex, virtually everyone would be telling her that a) of course he had sex with her and b) to run and not look back.

This habit of finding a way to blame the man whatever the situation is ridiculous.