Posted about this man ages ago in AIBU. Met through a shared hobby. He is definitely single. Was very into me. Sending lots of texts, ringing every day. Asking how I though things were going after each date. Lots of open talk about his feelings and mine. Instigated by him. He was by far the more full on and I was very cautious. Eventually I talked to him and said it felt too much and he calmed down. We went out more and got on. I started to like him an f have feelings for him . It's been 11 weeks almost. Had trouble trusting after a marriage break up (husband still lives in the house but we are not sharing a bed / life anymore . It's a question of how soon he can move out into his own place ) always been totally open and honest with new man about it. He was absolutely fine. Actually praised my honesty and openness many times. Not slept together as I wanted to be sure about him and take it slow. Again he was fine with this.we were on the same page. Didn't want a casual / one night stand thing.
Anyway about 3 weeks ago new man lost his job. Was upbeat at first saying he was applying for other stuff and would be ok. Slowly he's become withdrawn. Moody. Says it's effecting him badly and he doesn't like not working. Now he's said he wants space. Cancelled our date Saturday saying he didn't feel like doing.much that day.said it wasn't me or anything I had done but it's because he's spent x number of weeks with no real routine he's in a doing nothing mindset. Hes still taking part in the shared hobby we have however. He said he's snappy and off with his daughter, family other friends. It's nothing against me etc etc. Anyway now the phone calls have stopped. Doesn't reply to texts. Followed me on Twitter . Only place he has kept me is Facebook. I am being careful not to post anything about this on there or to post anything cryptic. Last week I noticed he had been through his Facebook and deleted all trace of me. Check ins and photos of us. He said his daughter (late teens) had been asking him questions about who I was and he has always said he wouldn't be introducing a new woman to her unless he had been in the relationship some time and was as sure as he could be about the direction it was going. I have kids and I understand that. Something about it didn't quite sit right in my gut feeling as she's not on his friends list and his posts were for friends only but he was adamant she had seen some of the posts and kicked off about it ...
Anyway yesterday I asked outright does he still have feelings and want to see me. He just said he wanted to be on his own and needed some space to sort the job thing out. This later turned to Jim saying he needs to sort his life out and that probably means I out everything on hold. It's not you. It's where I am in my life at the moment. I will sort myself out and get myself moving again but that will happen in my own time. Once I am sorted I can see what lies ahead. At this moment in time I can't. Hope you understand.
It's over isn't it? I feel so sad. My anxiety is through the roof. Finding it hard to eat, sleep is all over the place . Keep crying.. Keep checking to see if he's taken me off Facebook. Feel like I am going mad. I had started to trust him and open up to him. He was always in contact . Always reassured me. Once he calmed down I felt really calm and content with him. I don't understand why he has done this.
Tried to ring him yesterday and he didn't answer. No reply to messages now either. The last text I laid it on the line how I felt. That I would be here when he felt better about things. That I wanted to be with him and I cared about him and had feelings for him and I didn't want to throw the towel in. Stressed this was a bump in the road he would get over. That we had lots to look forward to. He never even answered. I am absolutely gutted. :(