Will we ever get back there?

[SgtPsLonelyHearts]

Name changed for this but I've been around for a while.
Last year I had a brief affair during a rocky patch in my mental health. I was totally in the wrong and I know that. I told DH and after a short split and some counselling we got back together. We are doing great considering and I'm so grateful to DH for forgiving me and trying again.
I just sometimes get such a wave of sadness over me because that special "thing" that relationships have before trust is broken is gone. I know it's my fault but I can't help but feel upset that DH never looks at me with that glint in his eye anymore. We are strong but I just miss that so much.
Has anyone else been through similar and got that back? Or do I just need to accept that the relationship is, not necessarily worse, but just different now and forever?

You had an affair so doubtful he will look at you that way again op.

Once the trust has been broken it's very difficult to get it back.

Did you really think differently after sorting your mental health?

Im curious..

@GeriT - I don't understand the question. Did I think differently about what exactly?

You were having issues with your mental health and had an affair.

When you got back on top of your mental health did that make you think differently about the affair or are the two not interlinked?

You were in the phase of "the other person can do no wrong"
Then you proved that wasn't the case
Now you're in the "oh shit, guess we're both human" phase

Most relationships go through this.