Not friends any more - should I try harder?

[newgirl]

When we moved here I met the partner of a friend of my husbands. We all used to meet up as a four and I thought the girl and i were becoming good friends. When she had her baby I thought we would meet up on our own and we did once or twice but she wasn't really that keen. I felt a bit hurt but thought that it was up to her.

However, our husbands continue to meet up and now I don't get invited. ALso, we now know lots of the same people, other mums in the area, so I feel awkward. We didn't fall out or anything, and I don't think I said anything too stupid, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to go on about it to dh as it could make things more awkward and it is a good friend of his. Help! I'm rubbish at this stuff!

Hi newgirl - this is a difficult one isn't it?
Do you actually have a feeling that she's not interested in seeing you or have you gathered this purely from the lack of contact?
If it's the latter then you could try one of a couple of things. She may just be really busy with the baby and may be waiting for you to make the 1st move. I met some lovely girls in hospital when I was having dd and they were having theirs. We get on brilliantly but, unless one of us makes the effort it's so easy to let a month, then 3 months then 6 months pass by without any contact. So you could just bite the bullet and give her a ring. You never know, she might be really pleased that you've made the effort. But, if you feel that she's in any way reluctant to meet or, when you meet up, you feel uncomfortable or awkward, then put it down to experience and move on.
Or could your dh say something to her dh, without it being a big deal? Maybe he could just ask after her and see if she's out and about or whether she's snowed under or something?
Good luck x

thanks for your thoughtful answer moomin. its given me things to think about. I think perhaps I expected too much of her at a very busy time in her life and as time has gone by it has made things more tricky. But you might well be right and she might not think it as so long or as such a big deal. I'll have a think about how best to raise it with dh so as not to sound like a winger!! windger? no idea to spell that but you know what i mean!