Just had the talk with stbxh. Feel crap

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So I've posted on here about getting my ducks in a row etc but my stbxh came right out with it last week and asked me if I loved him. I can't lie so I said no. We had a more in-depth conversation tonight were everything was my fault. He wants to try but I absolutely don't. I'm so done with the whole thing.

I feel like absolute crap though. Like I'm breaking up the family even though it is absolutely toxic.

So I presume from here I book mediation? There is a 4 month waiting period where I live (non UK). I have counselling booked for myself and I have no savings and a huge credit card bill. To say I'm terrified would be an understatement.

I'm sorry to hear this op.

In general the best first step is for you to seek legal advice for yourself. Work out what you are entitled to and see whether mediation is even necessary, it may not be.

Do you have any friends to chat to in real life?

Thinking of you x

Get a free half hour with a solicitor. Have as much information as you can ready to take with you. Check with friends locally to find a good one and write down what you want to ask. I'd suggest doing the divorce paperwork yourself and using a solicitor for finance. Wikivorce website is useful, so is gov.uk

Perfectly natural to feel like crap, hope this is the turnaround point for you - and things will improve! x