My sister has a child from her previous marriage and is now in a relationship with a "great" guy. She loves him, he is kind, thoughful, fun, brilliant to her son etc. He is passionate about her but she has reservations about marrying him. She often cites that it is because she has been hurt so badly by her failed marriage that she is afraid of failure and cant "go thru or put her child risk of that again".
However there is another side of the story. They have been together 2 1/2yrs - it was quite stormy at the begining and things have improved. But there have been about 7 incidents where she has been concerned for his mental health. Crazy rages, which have frightened her, long detached silences, agressive, argumentative moods. She doesnt want to commit because she is "worried" that there is something mentally wrong with him. He did a lot of clubbing/drugs etc - doesnt now - had a very traumatic incident 4 years ago where he lost both parents in tragic circumstances. He is currently undergoing counselling and he is handling stressful situations better. However I have seen him drunk and it is ugly and agressive. After each of the 7 rages - always related to drink - he has given up for a few months. What should she do?..give him a chance - be optimistic - stay as she is as a "boyfriend" - or get rid? Can people change?...can anyone spot an undiagnosed mental illness?...would that mean shouldnt get involved?