Don't know if I love him any more

[TiredFedUpGrumpy]

With DH 10 years, 2 small children (one a baby, currently on mat leave), I'm fucking tired and just fed up with DH. He's not a bad man but he's just a bit lazy. I'm sure he used to be more sociable, proactive at home. Plus I feel like we bicker all the time and tbh I'm not any happier when he's there than when I'm on my own with the DC. I'm not sure where we go from here, or how to make it better.

It's often the stess of young children that put pressure on a marriage. Especially when you feel you're literally on your own doing the primary care and parenting.

The whole thing makes you feel unappreciated and not feel love toward your partner.

It's a very testing time.

Can you talk to him about doing more to help ?

Have you thought about marriage counselling?

We wouldn't be able to fit it in, I don't think (no childcare). Not sure DH believes there's a real issue, he just blames me being tired. He reckons he pulls his weight equally too

I can totally relate to you I’m in the same situation. Things seem to be much tougher after having my 2nd child and he’ll tell me that it’s my job if any housework needs done since I am a full time mum. They say communication is the key but I really don’t know especially when he goes off on a mood every now and then. Someone also suggested is it that I am giving a lot more attention to my two kids that he is not getting much.

Sorry I am not much help but just wanted you to know that there are other people out there in the same situation but stay positive and be happy with your lovely kids x

He reckons he pulls his weight equally too

I know exactly what you mean. I've kind of been there.

A friend had a similar issue and she actually told her DH it was all too much and she felt she was going to have a breakdown. Only then did he step up his game.

Then another time she was run ragged and was anaemic ... She was admitted to hospital .... he had to look after the kids.

He had the cheek to tell her to persuade the doctors she was well enough to leave the hospital.

All you can do is express that you find it too much .... because if not ... you'll just become resentful and be plodding along.

I think men underestimate how your feelings towards them can change.

He was bright eyed and lively visiting his parents, and back home he became a tetchy grump. I honestly cannot be fucking arsed. What way is this to live?

I'm further down the line than you, dc 4 and 5, but for me it got worse and worse to the point I told h I wanted to separate a fortnight ago. Still living together although I'm moving out next week, but I already feel 100% happier!