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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did it get better or worse after relationship counselling?

10 replies

pieceofpietuesday · 03/11/2017 18:52

Just that really!

OP posts:
pieceofpietuesday · 03/11/2017 20:32

anyone?

OP posts:
Oldrockman · 03/11/2017 21:03

With my ex I had after one session left something in there so went back in, counselor said your best leaving her. I was taken aback at the time but she was right, just did not see it. So it was in some way pointless if saving relationship was the idea. I have been told a couple of times that the main purpose of it is to help couples come to terms with the end of their relationship. Don't know how true this is though, but it seems quite logical, perhaps people should go before they get married?

whereiscaroline · 03/11/2017 21:05

In my previous relationship, it didn't get better or worse but it did help me to see it for what it was (shit), and gave me the strength to leave him for good. This time round with new DP I'm hoping it will save us.

Isadora2007 · 03/11/2017 21:12

The purpose should not be to “save” a relationship- but to improve communication and quality of life for both people and their children. Sometimes this is in repairing the relationship. Sometimes not.

Often it can get worse before it gets better. Like needing to empty a Garage out and make it messy in order to rummage around and work out what needs to be chucked and what needs kept and repacked in order to get a tidy garage.

FieldsOfWheat · 03/11/2017 21:43

A lot better. We were on the verge of pretty much breaking up 6 months ago and now we're really happy.

pieceofpietuesday · 03/11/2017 22:06

had first session earlier this week. hated it, felt worse about things by time we left

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BlueA4Paper · 03/11/2017 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EasyToEatTiger · 04/11/2017 08:43

It glossed over the abuse. I didn't realise at the time. About 15 years of some kind of marriage guidance.

pieceofpietuesday · 04/11/2017 08:47

thanks for messages x

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Lilifer · 04/11/2017 10:27

In my experience it got much worse. In counselling the rows were just rehashed and nothing was ever resolved. The counsellor was determined to stay neutral and in fact did not see that my dh was and is emotionally and verbally abusive. I now regret the time and effort I put in to hitting my head off that brick wall and have asked my dh for a separation Sad

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