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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The other woman what to do

2 replies

Nellia · 30/10/2017 08:42

Hopefully i can get a bit of insight or clarity as so confused and dont know what to do or if its my job to do anything at all.

My husband and I seperated just over a year ago. At the time I asked him to tell me if he choose to start a relationship with someone else, he agreed but then in the summer our child started talking about a woman upon return from visiting him. At first he denied it but then admitted he was seeing someone but it ment nothing. I asked him to be carefull in terms of our child building a relationship with her if indeed it ment nothing and said it was time we actually begin divorce proceedings.

He said he wanted to try again and work on our marriage. I agreed providing he ended things with the other woman.

Fast forward 6 weeks we have began dating and spending a few evenings together. He wanted to move back in but I said its not something Im ready for.

He rang me yesterday to say the other woman dropped presents for our childs birthday with his flatmate. He wanted to know what he should do with them?!

I now feel so confused angry and numb all rolled into one. I dont know how to react. Im not convinced he has ended it if shes showing up. Why would a woman do that
with no encouragement. He claims he ended it and hasnt spoke to her since. Equally I dont know what he thinks telling me will achieve. Originally he told me it was nothing but since now has admitted she met his family amd friends that they were together for 3 months. Which now makes me feel like they are all in support of him being with someone else so that i wouldnt be able to trust him not to have an affair if we got back together and hit a rough patch again.

Has anyone delt with anything similar?

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 30/10/2017 08:46

It’s a concern that you got back with him after he started seeing another woman.

Why did you split in the first place? Were those issues ever addressed?

Why not ask him to contact her and state no more contact? Or why not contact her yourself and ask if they are really over?

Warhammerwidow89 · 30/10/2017 08:47

Maybe she met the kids. 6 weeks is a small amount of time, maybe she'd bought them before they split and she couldn't return them. So decided that the kids would be better off with them.

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