I'm going anonymous here because well it should be obvious. Have been married for 12 years with two little ones. Believed we were as happy as realistically could be. Is the passion still there with DH? Not exactly but I'm proud of the life we have built and our children. However something strange has happened in the last few months. Our teams have moved about a bit at work and we're now located next to this other team with a guy on it who I can only say I've developed a crush on. It seems silly and in some way superficial but it's soooo powerful.
The strange thing is that I wouldn't necessarily think of him as my type. I tend to like men who are quite a bit taller than I am but he is quite good looking in a cuteish sort of way. To be honest I thought at first he was way too young but it turns out he's mid thirties so not that much younger than me. We don't tend to be working together as such but although he's very quiet he's always nice and helpful if I have an issue with something. I do like to try and find excuses to be able to bother him about stuff. Our office is really rather boisterous/rough and ready so in a way he seems like a bit of a fish out of water here and he's a bit of loner sitting around in breaks doing crossword puzzles. It's funny because his teammates mock him for being an old man about which he is a good sport but he has such a baby face.
We had a staff night out recently (a kind of anniversary) and I was quite surprised he turned up as I didn't really think it would be his scene. After a coupe of cocktails I summoned up the courage to chat with him, I asked why he was drinking coke and not alcohol. He said he never drank alcohol as he believed in Nechan philosophy. I wasn't quite sure how to respond but we chatted a bit about work - he's desperate to find another job, which made me feel sad that he might not be around for too much longer. In the end he left quite early just as the party was getting started - not because of me I hope! I've obviously seen him at work since and we smile/exchange pleasantries. He seems a bit impenetrable but I'd love to know more about him, what's going on underneath the glasses. He seems quite dour on the outside but when he's chatting with colleagues he's quite witty and happy to be the butt of banter.
In a way he seems quite passive and I think it would be so easy to make a move on him. I almost feel bad for saying so because he seems so innocent with his sweet smile but I'd roger him senseless. And needless to say I feel bad because I've got DH who hasn't done anything wrong. Is this 'normal' for married people or should I think this is a warning sign that something isn't right. Everything is just so frustrating. His unavailability (I understand he's single but well, I'm not) and guilt that I'm somehow betraying DH by thinking about another man all the time.
There's a recent book apparently by a Belgian therapist who says we ought to be a bit more forgiving of affairs - monogamy is tough. I'm starting to wonder if I can handle another 40 years of it.
Easiest thing would be to try and move elsewhere at work or wait for him to leave. Trouble is I don't want him to.