Would you leave?

[Athome77]

I love my husband and would miss him.

I think our relationship is great etc.

The only thing that really upsets me, and he says this at least once a week, is : ‘this is my house’. He owns it and pays mortgage and it’s all in his name. It even comes done to colours when painting, finishing, it’s all very masculine, he hates my ‘tat’ eg dolphins, can’t have them out, but we have lots of model aeroplanes out (his not mine). Someone recently came in and said they wouldn’t have known a woman lived here.

We have kids. My dad was controlling and I always said I would leave anyone like that, as we are getting older I feel he is becoming more controlling.

Would you leave?

If everything is 50/50, by the time he’d got his share of my money and I’d got my share of his house we would be still be the same (equity in house about 80k, my inheritance 100k) only way I’d benefit is by getting child support, share of his pension. I actually think he will be reasonable over child support etc.

Yes, it is true that everything (including your savings) will go into the pot and be divided between you. Just make sure you get everything you are entitled to.

You pay your car insurance but you've no car? I'd stop doing that to begin with.

You may be entitled to more than 50% if you are the resident parent - see a solicitor to find out exactly where you stand.

I pay car insurance but the car is in his name. He has another car (and a work one). If I left I could leave it, he’d probably be ok if I took it or buy another one for around £7000. I drive the car I pay insurance for.

And how dare he not allow you to have any say in the decoration of your home? He shows absolutely no respect for your feelings.

I’d have a serious chat and if he didn’t sort his shit out I’d leave.

God I couldn't live like that. It might sound like an ok life to some people but I'd be miserable every day.

If you're in the U.K., the house is a marital asset, so it's actually yours as much as his, tough shit. I couldn't tolerate having nothing of mine allowed in the house. How else does he control you, OP?

Op the reason I asked about how is he around the children because you mentioned that they don’t have friends over unless he is not there. Why is that? To me that doesn’t sound very nice for the children that they have to wait until their dad is away to have friends over?

OP it is your house though, you have kids together so therefore are a family and it is in fact their family home!
Time to start challenging his inaccurate words each and every time. " this is the kids home our family home"

Make that house your home time to redecorate pick colours you like. What is he going to do 'say no and ban you from B&Q'
Put out your ornaments and do find an opinion on his. Speak up be heard.
See about changing car into your name there is no reason why it's shouldn't being your name.
Your name can also go on deeds of house but because you are married legally its yours too and in a divorce its a marital asset.

The problem is that even if he stops saying it, he’ll still believe it.

I would bet my last penny that he’s controlling in other ways too. Am I right?

What would happen if you insisted on having some of your dolphins out? And explained that it’s only fair because he has his planes out?

As others have said, it’s legally your house too OP.