So....pretty much a year ago to the day I split with my husband of 20 years marriage - 25 together as a couple. The lead up to the split was horrendous- bizarre sexual demands, online sexting with strangers, huge amounts of hidden debt despite excellent joint income, and to top it off a horrendous row where he tried to strangle me. I told him to leave-He did and never returned.
I couldn't make sense of it all. Although these issues had been ongoing for a while- this wasn't the man I married and loved. I read on here about the script.So I asked him- he flat out denied there was another woman.
At Christmas he broke down. He talked about his shame at his behaviour and pretty much put it down to ptsd. I believed him as the behaviour coincided with him leaving the army after an Afghan tour. He told me he would prove to me he could sort him self out. I continued to file for divorce and said we'll see but deep down I really held onto this hope.
What followed was 8 months of hot and cold behaviour towards me, me paying for pretty much everything, him erratically visiting as and when he fancied. 2 months ago he made such a preposterous suggestion of what he envisaged our future relationship to be like -I told him that he really didn't get what proving to me he is sorting himself actually meant and should basically get lost.
2 months on- other woman on scene. I know I'm sad but I did a bit of digging and asking around- something I had previously been too proud to do. Upshot of it is- Yes he was having an affair with her while with me. Debts and lack of financial support/seeing kids- too busy paying for and playing happy families with someone else.
So, sorry for long winded post- upshot is- don't ignore the signs- it's probably a duck :)