Off the pill and gone feral

[Ruddyhormones99]

Hi all,

Long time user but defo want to ask this anonymously...

I came off the pill a few months ago after being on over ten years. It’s the only cause of this I can think of.

I’m in a fantastic relationship where the sexual side of things has gone off the boil in the usual way after 2yrs.

My problem is that I am looking at and fantasising about men I know like a starving harpy I am literally hornier than I have ever felt and it is keeping me awake at night imagining things. At the same time I feel really horrible and guilty about these thoughts when I love my DP to bits.

I know this might seem like a ridiculous “problem” but I don’t know if it’s normal or what I can do. I can’t tell him why I’m lying awake fidgeting for hours and if this was a man posting he’d get slated for laying any expectations of more sex on his partner.

I feel really stressed about coming into contact with any of these blokes I know as I’m having really uncontrollable thoughts about them!

Sorry if this is in the wrong forum.

Oral contraceptives cause a loss in libido for many women, so it's possible that they were suppressing yours and that your body is still trying to adjust to the loss of the hormones they supplied and things are still a bit out of kilter.

If things don't stabilize soon I'd have a word with your gynecologist about it. It might make sense to have your hormone levels checked.

By the way, I had similar feelings when I was pregnant, so I know what you're going through.

Your body is getting back to where it should be hormonally, and that's why you're randy as a stout. You've literally been sabotaging your sex drive for a decade. You just need time to adjust. I truly believe the effects of birth control is what causes so much sexual dysfunction in so many women.

I cannot have any hormonal birth control as I become asexual. After 16 years on it I stopped taking it.

I so understand where you are coming from. My libido went wild. To the point of masturbating on the toilet at work (tmi ).

My advice? Jump your DP, tell him you love him and are currently as randy as a bitch in heat. Make the time and scratch your itch at home.

I’ve been hormonal free for 6 years, best decision ever. I also have an incredible sex life because I share with my DP who is very happy to alleviate my horniness.

Good luck it’s crap. p.s, buy a vibrator xx

Face it - naturally you are a goer and the pill has been masking it!! (joking obviously)

This happened to me. It was truly brutal. My dh at the time basically couldn't cope with it - long story mostly to do with him having an extreme Madonna/whore complex and very jealous and suspicious.

He would withhold sex from me to punish me at times, it was absolutely excruciating.

I'm now with a new partner and we are at it like rabbits and it's a relief. I couldn't really stay with my ex. Things had to change because I had.

I'd say give it time, be straight with your partner that your drive is up, and let the chips fall where they may. It's not something you can really help... If your drive is up, it's up. Masturbation helps but ime it's the need for close bodily contact that's the real issue.

He would withhold sex from me to punish me at times

A man withholding sex? Surely you jest.

Cheers all!

Now the thing is I already had a much higher sex drive than DP... I have been worried in the past about putting pressure on him and frankly he will only perform when he actually wants to so I can’t just jump him. He has let me know in the past that just feeling him up makes him feel annoyed so not to try and initiate that way.

We have been on a once per week/two weeks schedule for a year or so and I found that pretty hard to cope with. I’ve been sorting myself out daily for the last two weeks and it just does nothing to alleviate it. I have a wand and everything lol!

@bessandknees

He would withhold sex from me to punish me at times

What the actual fuck.

I think it's a bit sexist to say men wouldn't withhold sex - they certainly can, and do. Especially abusive men who know that their partner will be devastated / in distress over it. It gave my ex a huge sense of power over me. He could also sneer about how I was only after one thing, etc.

He used to strop that I would have a stonking high drive while ovulating and less so during pmt... took this as a sign that I didn't love him "consistently"

I am sad that so many women are suppressing these amazing natural hormones.

And I am pleased you have found yours again. Nature knew what it was doing !

Enjoy

That's just it though, this isn't your natural hormone level. I've been there on a few occasions. I was constantly on some hormonal treatment or other for 20 years. One completely killed my libido for years and years, and I had the same issue with pregnancy. It's like a light switch - it gets turned off and there's nothing and then bam, it's back at 100%. Sometimes it stays like that then turns off again, I've just had two weeks where it's been through the roof and now the switch has gone off again.

I know it's my body trying to sort itself out but it's so frustrating and annoying - can I not just have 50% all the time rather than this?! Last time this happened to me after a long period of no libido, it did eventually settle down to become more even and constant, so hopefully it will do this again. My poor DH doesn't know whether he's coming or going to be honest.