Is my DP actually gods gift to the office

[lilathewerewolf]

Posted on AIBU but maybe it's more a relationshis thing, I am just getting bloody fed up of my DP moaning that he's better than everyone else at work and miles more competent and his manager doesn't appreciate him enough and if he isn't a regional manager by so-and-so time then he'll leave and that will show them all?

I don't deny that he works hard, he's just not the be all and end all fountain of knowledge he seems to think he is. Getting a bit narked off with all the moaning to be honest. Tell me I'm being a cow and I should sit there and nod my head and stroke his ego after doing my own 12 hour shifts?

OP dh and I give each 60 seconds each to offload about work and not a second more. Maybe you could try that. If there is something serious either one of us needs to discuss, the time limit is an uninterrupted 10 minutes and the person who talks first then has to sit for 10 uninterrupted minutes listening to the reply.

This approach curbs any unnecessary whinging in my house.

I used to line manage someone like this. It used to seep through every pore, into every discussion, into every (questioned) management decision. She honestly thought she was the absolute best in our profession and could do everyone's job better than them.

Of course she never said it out loud because then she could have been directly challenged. But it was there, in every discussion, every meeting just chipping away. No healthy questioning and debate/ discussion. Just poison dripping into the ears of others.

She was without doubt my worst colleague. It took 4 years to get rid of her. She was and is a deeply unhappy person who blames everyone else for the problems in her life. I would be cautious OP. Very cautious.

Reminds me of my ExP. Really deluded about himself. He was seriously deluded on many other things as well and got quite angry if you disagreed. It didn't work out!

I'm seriously projecting but I'd say it's a red flag of a weird view of himself and the world around him.

Another misunderstood genius... . How could you bear to live with such a self deluded bozo?

Suggest to him that he applies for other, more senior jobs. If he isn’t prepared to do something about it, he needs to shut up! Is he qualified for a more senior position or does he need to get further training or qualifications?

YANBU for getting tired of it. I experience something similar and am bored of being sympathetic. I ask him "What are you going to do about it?" Shuts him up for a bit.

I do sound contemptuous dont I? Oh dear, I just get so fed up with tea and sympathy when I work my ass off for peanuts too! It's like he thinks he's the most misunderstood put-upon person in the world sometimes. I told him martyrdom went out of fashion with Thomas More and that didn't go down well either!

I can’t imagine it did .

My friends partner was like this. Then one day he believed his own PR, so went in and demanded a huge pay rise and threatened to leave thus bringing the entire company to its knees on his departure .

That's ok, they said, there's the door.

Viques that's what I'm worried will happen :/

Well that escalated quickly. I think moaning about the fuckwits at work is a quite normal way to keep your sanity.

It's very unlikely that he is brilliant & being held back on purpose by his manager.

Is he a victim?

Is it always someone elses fault when things don't turn out as he wants?

It's hard to explain Anna, but it's constant sniping and angry victimhood and it's all the time, frankly it grates on MY sanity!

It's not been an easy relationship because of his moods anyway.

What's the betting he spends all his time at work moaning about you, and how you don't appreciate everything he does for you, and one day he'll leave you for someone that really values him and that'll show you...

These types of people are always the victim of everyone else, but blind to just how fallible and ordinary they really are. Its not very attractive is it?

Why are you with him?? I don't get it. He's a miserable bastard who doesn't care that he makes you miserable as well. Life is too short for that bullshit.

He has been getting a lot better recently, but I still sometimes catch myself wondering what the point is or if it's what I want anymore.

My DH used to be like this.

He's changed his tune since he turned 40 (and had two kids), he's a bit more resigned to the fact he's not God's gift and gonna be CEO!

My ex is exactly like this, he's worked under had a few managers who were all useless according to him. Funnily enough he didn't bother trying for an interview when any of them left or were promoted. He was probably so tired from being employee of the fucking month he was too tired to do sod all around the house on his days off either, lazy twat.

The people who say/think this are more often than not the incompetent idiots that the rest of the office can't stand...

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Best off starting your own business, that way you’d reveal the rewards of all your hard work , competence etc

Keep repeating it every single moan

Eventual change to why havent you started your own business

Sorry OP but this made me laugh.

You could try and see the funny side. Get a recording of a triumphal fanfare -da da da DAAAAH! that you can play when he walks through the door and swoon 'Oh my GOD it's YOU!!! HOW AMAZING I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW AMAZING YOU ARE etc.

Lol fizzy I like the fanfare idea!