So I am fuming with my husband. He always assumes the worst about our eldest (his stepdaughter). She has been a royal PITA over the last few years but on the path to better things now thankfully, however if I ever mention anything to do with her he always thinks of some negative possible scenario. Again last night I've picked him up on this & suggested he consider how unfair this is. He takes no responsibility for this behaviour, and will never address anything with her, just snipes to me. He then decides to tell me that he sneaked a look in her bag over a week ago, found drugs & didn't bother to tell me because he "knew how I'd react" and knows he shouldn't have done it. I am upset & hurt that he has withheld this info, chosen to use it to justify his own negative behaviour & then rather than apologise like an adult, blame me for my reaction (which is mainly incredulous at his behaviour...the drugs & daughter are a whole other issue...). I feel that he constantly expects the worse in order to protect his own fragile ego from further disappointments re: daughter that he has always cared for & treated as his own
until he didn't like her behaviour. Is there any hope if he can't even recognise how messed up this all is? Is it fair for me to be so mad? Am I being unreasonable?