So can you lovely people please help me? Because I don't know what to do.
Situation is this: Husband is 23 nearly 24, I'm 25, and we have a DD together who's 2. Been married since April 2016, together since 2012.
But I think my marriage might be over, even though I've tried so hard.
H has health problems, he's supposed to be having an operation to fix the main problem but nothing has happened. He's supposed to have chased it up, but he says he doesn't have time, or he doesn't care as he's been like this a year now and has decided it's forever.
DD also has additional needs. She's 2.4 but more like an 18 month old in her behaviours and development, has limited speech and has hip problems. She's a little sweetheart though, and attends Nursery 3 days a week.
H says everything is my fault. I deal with DD wrong so that's why she reacts badly to him when he's changing her nappy, why she runs away from him when she throws a tantrum. He says I am not the nice person and good mother everyone seems to think I am. Apparently I manipulate everyone, from my mother and child to the Social Worker involved to offer us support. He says everyone sings my praises to him and he hates because I do nothing I'm lazy and I should count myself lucky that he's still with me, as he's considered leaving me.
I've tried so hard to do everything. DD wakes up 3 times a night, and I never moan or say I'm tired, because he works anything up to 6 days a week, and his job is harder than mine. I take DD to all her appointments, restrain her if I have to, I take notes and ask questions. And I feedback to H about it. I change all her nappies, because he can't deal with poop, I bath her because he doesn't want his colleagues thinking that there's something wrong with him for bathing his infant daughter. He does do bedtime most nights because I apparently don't do it right so she stays awake longer when I do it so he can't play his games online with his friends, which is his only thing outside of work that he does.
His shifts are variable, so I do all pickups and dropoffs at Nursery, even when he can do them he won't because he thinks I've told lies to the Nursery Manager about him so doesn't want to see her in case she says something to him - I'm still not sure what I'm meant to have said. Because of his shifts I can only do very limited jobs due to DDs conditions meaning I have to be available at the drop of a hat, and take time off for appointments. So I do work from home for my old university, I hate it, it's boring but it pays DDs Nursery fees which is the important thing. H won't change his job to something more family friendly because he doesn't want to leave his colleagues short staffed and having to cover more hours.
He says I'm evil, and that's why I have no friends, because they see through me like he does and are scared away.
If I leave him, I'll lose my DD. He says he'll take me to court and he'll win because his family are super rich and can provide her with a place at any school she needs to go to, which I just can't afford or cover. They can get him the best solicitor where I'd have to be at the mercy of whichever would accept a small amount each month. He says if we go to court he'll say I'm manipulative and that I hurt DD because a couple of times when having a really tiring/stressful day I've shouted at DD. I've always apologised after, said it wasn't her fault, given her a cuddle and done something she wants to do like go to the park.
I need to fix this, because I'm going to lose my DD otherwise. How can I prove to H I'm sorry and fix this?