Why did he end the relationship?

[Whitestuff22]

Hi all. I am posting on here because I am all over the place at the moment trying to process what has happened.
I met a lovely guy about 2 months ago and we hit it off straight away. Both of us are in our 40s. He was married before but has no children. I was married before as well and have 3 kids. I was very upfront with him from the start and he knew I had kids. We had a few lovely dates and both of us seemed to enjoy every minute we spent together. He was making long term plans, was talking about introducing me to his family and friends, was sending me “Good morning” messages without fail. We were messaging throughout a day and he would call me every night and we would talk for hours. Everything seemed to be going well. I didn’t want to rush into anything and thought that we would take it slow and let the relationship develop its course. He said that he wanted to meet my children when I was ready. I thought that meeting them during half term might be a good idea and suggested that. He was very enthusiastic about this and even booked an afternoon off work to meet them. I didn’t feel that something was going wrong or there were any issues as he was very affectionate and lovely. Then suddenly I got a message from him saying that we shouldn’t be seeing each other anymore as I am not right for him long term and it wouldn’t be right for him to meet my kids. He also said he wanted to have a break and then he would want to start a family of his own.
I am so confused. Why want to meet my kids - I would have been happy to wait a bit longer. Why make long term plans (it was him making the plans , not me)? Do you thing he got cold feet thinking “I am taking on a woman with three kids”? He was telling me that he won the lottery because he met me etc. Why make me believe that we have a future and then end it like this through the text all of a sudden? I just do not understand. Is it because I have children and he doesn’t and he couldn’t cope with the reality of meeting them and being around children ? I know that he didn’t meet anybody else. He seemed to be a really genuine guy and I started to fall in love with him so it hurts like hell at the moment.
What do you think?

I think reality crashed in on him and he realized that a future with 3 step-children isn't what he wants. That doesn't make him a bad person. Sounds as though the heady, beginning-of-a-relationship love goggles were causing both of you to get way ahead of yourselves. Do you not see that introducing your children to a man you barely know after only two months is seriously poor judgement? Next time, take things far, far slower?

yy all that. But it's seriously shit he did it by text. I think that's all you need to know about this man.

Dumping someone by text after two months is hardly crime of the century and certainly nothing in his behaviour makes him a bastard!

He's been honest with you and told you you're not what he wants. That stings but he's never been less than honest.

He changed his mind and was honest about it. I can't see a problem. As for the text, if good morning texts were good enough to indicate a real relationship in both your eyes, then to be fair a good bye text is a fair end to it, if that's your communication style, it makes perfect sense.

I think he did like you but he has done you a favour by being upfront and ending it before meeting your children which was too soon anyway. It's made him think he wants children of his own and I think you're right, for him he has decided 'taking on 3 children' isnt right for him. There will be someone more suited for you

I agree with tictac

He sounds decent to me. Rather than string you along, he weighed up how he felt and realised it wasn’t serious enough to meet your children.

Springy I don’t think it’s “seriously shit” he did it by text at all.

By the sounds of it, most of their telecom ship was conducted over the phone.

Ending it by text is perfectly usual after 2 months these days.

Better to get a text than be told to your face.

Better to get a text than be ghosted.

Why do people name change halfway through a thread?

Why do people name change halfway through a thread?

I am assuming it was a mistake. The Ops second name reveals a complicated dating history where she has 'fallen in love' with a few people in the last year. She has also introduced someone else to the kids really quickly and it didnt work out.

I can only guess she name changed for tjis so people wouldnt know that history. That may explain why she hasnt been back since the name change fail.

I hope the OP gets some help and slows down a bit. For her kids sake if nothing else.

OP, it sounds as though you got together with this guy a matter of days after your last relationship ended. You have clearly over-invested in this one in exactly the same way you did last time. Don’t mess about trying to work out why he ended things, just accept that he has and let it go. As other posters have said, you’d do well to spend some time by yourself now so that you can completely heal from the emotional turmoil you’ve had this year. When you’re ready to start dating again, try not to fall in love within the first 6 months. You really don’t know a man at all before then.

He wants kids of his own, which suggests he might either want (or have waiting in the wings) a younger partner. I personally think you dodged a bullet here - you don’t want all this coming out after two years, two months is fine!