Can't live like this anymore

[Muchappreciated]

Got together when I was 19. He was 27. Said I love you after about 2 weeks of being together. Moved in together after a month. Lavished me with compliments, wanted to spend every minute of the day together. Then I got pregnant very quickly, wasn't sure whether to go through with it but he started saying loads of weird stuff about people with near death experiences reported that they went to hell and were haunted by their aborted babies. (I went along with the pregnancy and she is 2 now and the best thing that ever happened to me.)

Bad trust issues. Checking my phone and whereabouts constantly. Accusing me of cheating nearly every single day of our relationship. Downloads spy apps etc. Doesn't like when I make an effort with my appearance or goes on nights out without him.

When we argue he smashes mirrors/doors and throws things. He shoves/grabs me. Pushes me out of bed onto the floor. Screams in my face. When I try to leave he takes away my car keys, bank card and phone so I am pretty much trapped. He has grabbed me by the throat a number of times and once repeatedly kicked me in the leg when I was sat on the floor in another room hiding from him.
He sometimes punches himself in the face and gives himself black eyes. He says it stops him from doing it to me but still scary nonetheless.

After these incidences he always cries and is apologetic. Tells me it is due to what I said/did. Says he never actually hits me and that I'm just as bad as him (but I don't even shout, I just walk away most of the time).

He is very demanding sexually and wants it up up to 3 times a day. If I refuse to he will sulk and withhold affection from me.

I want out because my life is miserable with him. He shouts at me like I'm a child and moans if I spend any of my own money. I'm not allowed out with my friends and he thinks I'm seeing men behind his back ... I don't want to live like this anymore and I don't want my child growing up around it either.. but for the life of me I do love him. I need to be strong and not go back once it's over. But i'm petrified of all the trouble that's going to come and if it will be worth it or not.

Anybody got any advice or personal experience please share I would much appreciate it x

Call the police any time - you don't need to do it in the heat of the moment. The love bombing, then controlling you in every way - classic abuse. A man who grabs you by the throat is a huge massive red flag to the police. You need to get out and now.

Call WA and the police as soon as you are able.

Do what debbs said and start making preparations. Get a bag ready in case you have to flee in quick time. Pay as you go phone etc. Copies of documents. Some cash. Just having that ready will make you feel stronger

It doesn't matter if you call the police when things have calmed down, you have history enough to report to them. He has tried to strangle you, the police ask if he's tried to strange you, the reason being it's been clearly demonstrated that if a man has tried to, he is more likely to seriously injure or kill his partner. The police will help you and if you want him out of the house they will arrest him and remove him. You can then get a non molestation order in place, which can be done for free at some courts if you do the paperwork yourself (it's easy) and for a nominal fee at other courts. Protect yourself and your dd.
Once you're on your own seek counselling. You have no idea how heavenly it is to come home and not have to worry about what you're walking into. I too apparently had affairs with all and sundry (I didn't, his imagination) I would be timed how long I was out for and get constant texts about how ill/lonely/frightened/near to death he was! This was often just doing the school run/supermarket shop/paying bills.
I am on my own now and despite the fact that it's left me with PTSD (I stayed for nigh on 25 years) I still consider it worth it.

Please be very careful, this man is dangerous and if he gets any sniff you are thinking about leaving, his violence may escalate. Make sure he doesn’t see this thread. Leave as soon as humanly possible, you are not safe, and make sure you go to a safe place. Call the police or women’s aid.

The first 5 years of my life were spent in a household like yours, the things I witnessed are still with me now-they are my earliest memories
Please get out before he seriously hurts you, or worse.

Please get away from his man.

Does he have access to your bank account online or anything? I would be setting up another account with a card (credit card, whatever) that he doesn't know about. Get a cheap phone. Get a replica set of car keys if possible. Put those and some basics in a bag, and keep it somewhere he will never find it. Very important that he can't find it. This man is such a danger to you, and this is not what you want your child to grow up with, trust me.

Oh my goodness, are you with my ex?

Get out now while you still have some fight. Make use of Women's Aid and local domestic violence services that they will put you in touch with. Contact the police if you feel able to - they should take this very seriously and be supportive.

Do you know that you can text the police? I didn't and wish I had known because my ex trapped me, too. Text REGISTER to 999 and follow the instructions.

I once reported my ex to the non emergency number. He had been verbally abusive against me and when he started on my daughter, I was afraid, and wanted to show them it wasn't acceptable. Because children were involved they HAD to send officers round. They removed him there and then. The shock on his face. It's my house and he had moved in with me. He had nowhere to go but I stood my ground. Even so, I had a bag etc ready to leave if I needed to.

Are you okay, OP? Please check in when you can. x

Oh OP

PLEASE get you and your daughter put of there.

This is no way for you both to love.

Seek support from family and friends and ring women's aid, you can do this xx