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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What to do for the best?

6 replies

Ginnylemon · 21/10/2017 23:52

Hi!

My little boy (2 yo) took really poorly last night, ambulance called. Could have been a lot worse than it was, thank god I got the paramedics in time and he's home on antibiotics for infection.

My ex, (ds dad) hasn't really been involved since we split up a year ago. Prefers drink. Drugs and other woman. Doesn't pay a penny and is constantly letting my son down.
i called him and told him about our little boy- said I was exaggerating and has now gone out on a bender I'm guessing and basically couldn't give a fuck.
The only time he bothers is when he has no money and nothing to do so walks into our home if and when he wants. Every time I try and stop him he causes a massive up roar and threatens me.
It's got to the point where I don't want him anywhere near my son. I've told him how ill he was and thought he might have actually shown some concern.

My little boy idolises his father. Every time he walks in my house uninvited his face lights up and he is so happy to see him. But I want it stopped all together. I've found out drug dealers are looking for him aswell as the police and I don't want my son associated with this.
I've told him time and time again I would help him sort his life out and that I want him to be a proper dad. But I don't think I do anymore. I just want him out of are lives for good. But then I'm going to be breaking my little boys heart for stopping him seeing his father, even though he doesn't really care about his son!
I feel so sad for my little boy because soon he's going to understand and I just want to do the best for him!

OP posts:
Cricrichan · 22/10/2017 00:08

Your son is only two. He'll forget him and having a mum who.loves and cares for him is enough. Your job is to make sure he has no contact with a drug addict/dealer and I'd be calling the police if I were you.

bluebell34567 · 22/10/2017 00:12

agree with Cricrichan.

fairytaleoflondontown · 22/10/2017 00:12

Hi
If your ex is intimidating you & you feel threatened then speak to a family lawyer. You may be able to get a non-molestation order.
This could result in your ex being arrested if he breaches the order.
Your son is only 2. Protect yourself & him. 🌸

pog100 · 22/10/2017 00:14

It is 100% clear that the right thing to do is to distance yourself and your son as far as is humanly possible from this man. He will be nothing but bad news as long as he is around. Just hope that is goes for good.

Ginnylemon · 22/10/2017 00:15

Thankyou for your reply!

I have called the police- they are looking for him for a separate incident. And he knows this, so has become quite cocky and thinks he is invincible.

Myself and my little boy live in a small town as do him and his family- none of which bother with my little boy at all. His mum and sister walks past us like we don't exist and I really don't know why. And I think that's the hardest part, If I actually go for no contact will I have to explain to him in time who they are? I just don't want to be the bad parent. I've rang doctors and everything trying to get him help and he says he will change then does this.

In time I would love to move away but right now I cant afford it,

OP posts:
Hairgician · 22/10/2017 07:42

Surely if he's intimidating you then you could get help with moving away? Keep him well away from you and your son. You are doing the right thing cutting him off. He will never change.
It will be more damaging to your son to keep trying to involve his no good dealer/addict dad.

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