I’m a dipshit

[AfunaMbatata]

DH is awful but I’m shit at life. Can’t see how I would cope . I don’t understand people well, fuck up and get fucked over time and again. Not clever, only qualifications are those I cheated to get . Struggle to work 2 hours a day. Just a shit person generally. Always have the wrong opinions on things etc.
I want to leave but I can’t. Too difficult , to embarrassing . I’d fuck up and probably lose my kid.

Don’t want want advice really. Just meh. Needed to say it.

Just leave, you won’t lose your child. Better for a child to have two happy separated parents than to have to live with two parents that hate each other.
I’m sure you’re being too harsh on yourself. You deserve to be happy & this man obviously rips your confidence to shreds.

Op, there is something really, really important that you need to understand.... 90% of the rest of the world is faking it. Everyone thinks everyone else knows something they don't, and that everyone else is cleverer / more intelligent / better informed than they are. Everyone fucks up.

Here endeth the lesson. Have faith in yourself.

I know the whole world is a stage etc but I’m still a fuck up.
Thanks for replying, I’m just sounding out.

Sounds like you are really struggling.

Would your finances stretch to seeing a counsellor once a week or fortnight? Help you work out what you actually want from life and give you support to help you take steps towards that?

Just a shit person generally

If you can, try to reframe this as "I have had some shit experiences and life lessons, and that's led me to do shitty things. I would like to do better."