I was having lunch with some friends the other day and we were talking about infidelity within long-term monogamous relationships. Specifically about different people's responses to discovering that their partner has been seeing someone else.
One friend of mine went ballistic, scratched the words LIAR onto the bonnet of his car in front of all his neighbours. She proceeded to make his life as miserable as possible by slagging him off online.
Another woman i know is in a long term relationship and her husband was playing the field for years. Eventually she decided that her friendship and companionship with her husband were more important than sexual fidelity and he continues to shag around and have extra-marital affairs with her blessing. As long as he stays. They no longer have a sexual relationship but remain a committed relationship in all other respects.
Someone else I know found out their partner was cheating and used it as a much longed for 'get out of jail' card and ended the relationship.
Another old friend refused to accept all of her friends hints that her partner was having an affair and although anyone around them could see it as plain as day she totally refused to believe it until her ex left her for the other woman. Then she felt humiliated because everyone else had known but her.
I think it's interesting that people have so many different responses. Obviously the length of the relationship matters, 2 months in you should LTB. 20 years in, mmmm, it's more complicated. And having children adds a further complication.
In soaps it usually goes something like my friend who vandalised her boyfriend's car, all big drama and revenge, but real life suggests finding out your DP has been unfaithful can be a complex dilemma.
What are your experiences and responses?
Sorry that was long!!