Cheating partner

[Piperspool]

Just sounding something out. Not sure what answers to expect but I’m st the end of my tether.

Just to give you a bit of history I’ve been with my partner for two years. When I first met him he suffered from depression which I was aware of and hoped to provide the support for him he needed. What I didn’t realise was he was also an alcoholic. I have tried my hardest to be supportive but I really struggle as there seems no end to this he constantly promises he is going to change. I appreciated this wouldn’t happen over night but he constantly goes back on his promises which recently has resulted in lots of arguments. These are always when he’s drunk as when he’s sober during the day he’s a really lovely person. As with most alcoholics he thinks nothing of lying.

Recently he has been getting close to a female who is inappropriately crossing the line of friendship. He denies anything is going on till he’s blue in the face but I am almost 100% that something is going on. My question is do I contact the female? Not to have a go at her but to confirm my suspicions as it’s driving me insane. He says I’m a psycho and that I’m being unreasonable that he wants this female as his friend. It has turned me into a suspicious insecure person but I feel I need to know as I’d rather know for sure than to feel like I’m the one with issues.

I have no intention of showing any agression etc to this female as at the end of the day he’s the one that’s cheating and is in the wrong.

Please help me with your advice as I need to know before I lose my mind

I'm delighted you've left, told your sister, had a good sleep and have no desire to get in touch with him. Keep it that way.

Thanks goodness you are away from him.
Please read up on co-dependency and find out why your feel the need to rescue people.
support site
Some counselling may help you unravel a few things!

He sounds horrible. Stop wasting your time with him and end it

An alcoholic depressive guy is hardly a catch... added to his emotional abuse.

I suggest you block him after you've collected any of your valuables from his house.

Men like him don't deserve a woman in their lives. Stop giving him the privilege of having you.

How are you doing today Pipers?

I must say this thread is helping me enormously

I’m obviously sad my relationship ended as when it was good it was very very good but the good times were outweighed heavily by the bad times. Im feeling much better today and I honestly put a lot of that down to posting this thread and the kindness of strangers.

I’m glad it’s also helping others. Sometimes you know deep down the answers you just need someone else to confirm.

I’m still not in touch with him and for my own mental health I hope I can stay strong.

I think you sound as though you will stay strong.

Many highs when we were together too but also many lows so much so that I’ve got a file on my work pc with a list so if I feel weak I read it.

This time though for me there is no going back - I’m grieving for what we could have had but to be honest the man I knew went some time ago. I truly think the alcohol has affected his brain.

So sad - his health is really quite poor.

I have a good life with work and older dcs. Will focus on that

Just to pre-warn you. When he tires of the narcissistic supply his lady friend provides, he’ll get back in touch with you and declare undying love and regret. If you get hoovered back in, he will criticise and discard you again quite quickly.

Yes that’s a pattern I recognise but hopefully one is aware of it then easier to say no!