My partner seems distant.

[Samcullen17]

Before I start I’m gay, I wasn’t sure where to post this as I need honest advice and women seem to be the most intelligent.

We have been together now for just over a year. It was love at first site we were engaged after only 6 weeks and we moved in after only a month or two. But we loved each other. everything has been great and still is. But we haven’t had sex in 4 months and I mean nothing in that department. No sex, no kissing or cuddling, no hugs, no spooning. My partner comes home from work he will sit on his phone and go to bed and that’s the routine every day unless we go see someone like family or friends.

We haven’t had a date night in 8 months and seen as we have only been together a year you can imagine it’s annoying.
He isn’t horrible to me ever he’s polite and he does say he loves me. But I just get the sense that something isn’t right.
I always tell myself it’s like he’s checked out of the relationship like he has lost interest. He doesn’t seem to be motivated for anything anymore. I love him more than life itself but I’m starting to feel odd around him and to be honest I don’t feel good about myself anymore.

What should I do how should I tackle this?

Seems he has just gone along with your idea's of how you want the relationship, but your attitude is appualing I can see why he does zone out

Sam, I think you're mistaken about the replies you're getting.

Posters are being surprisingly gentle. This relationship went wrong after a matter of months, man, woman, straight, gay, it makes no odds.

You will do what you feel is right for you however, because that's what people do.

I really hope things work out for you.

There is not 1 person on this site giving anyone advice to stay with an abuser!
If there is then it will be 1 voice in amongst hundreds!
Guaranteed!!!!
This is too early on in any relationship for all this drama and aggro!
There were red flags from the beginning which scream of a controlling or abusive partner.
Love bombing - look it up!
It truly looks like your DP is looking elsewhere and I for one, am not prepared to put up with cheating.
Especially this early on.
It's just not worth the future heartache.
The advice here is sound from the picture you have given us.

Nobody on this site will tell someone to stay in a rubbish relationship. And you are in one. This is one sided 'love' - but sorry, it does not sound like love to me. Co-dependency on your part mebbe but not love. 'date night' nonsense. You mean that you never go out together, or have sex and he ignores you. Where in his behaviour does he show any love or respect. Nowhere.

So please fgs find your self respect and get rid. Where is your self esteem that you put up with this utter nonsense. If you really believe this is all you deserve then please access some counselling to work out why on earth you put up with such nonsense. This 'relationship' had red flags waving all over it from day one and you chose to ignore them. Time to wise up - sorry.

(and sorry - I used nonsense far too many times!)

Ok so let me just get this straight. A website that is filled with topics about cheating husbands and wives, gambling and drug addictions, abuse. Those situations their being told to stay with their partners. Oh he’s gambling everyday but support him
And stick at it. Yet my relationship should just be ended right away. Like nah don’t try it’s over. Or is it because I’m a man??? Wow did I choose the wrong website to post a topic

Eh, sure you’re on about this site. I’ve been on here for years and that’s not the mumsnet I know?

It’s pretty obvious your partner has checked out and can’t be bothered anymore. You can do the trying all you want if you choose but if he doesn’t do his bit then it’s just a matter of time until you’re a bundle of nerves.

Tell him you want a proper chat about where this relationship is heading and you would like honesty. Other than that I’m not sure there is anything else you can do.

Come off it mate, if anything Mumsnet is known as the site where the cry of LTB goes up at the drop of a hat.

Maybe you meant to post on Netmums?

You clearly care and feel very worried. I think you should take a little step back, concentrate on friends and activities that make you happy, maybe take a weekend away. At the same time, say 'you seem stressed or unhappy - please talk to me if you think I can help'. If you step back, he may step forward and take responsibility for sharing what his problems are, whereas you being caring and concerned seems to be closing him off more. Either way, you need to look after you as well as him.

I think its died a death because it seems your the only one trying to work on things. As you've said he's checked out. When was the last time he suggested anything? I wouldnt be surprised if he was having an affair

I reckon you or he or both of you were in 'Limerence' and its worn off. Soz.