How long did it take you to get over your ex?

[LizaJane85]

I was just wondering about different peoples experiences and how long it took you to fully recover from a break up?
I’m 4 weeks out of a 8 year relationship, just under a year of that was married and I’m struggling. I have a dd who is keeping me going but it also means I have to see my ex at least twice a week which is brutal for me. He ended it but I’d say it was a mutual break up.
I was fine to begin with, busying myself with dd and sorting our lives out. But since I found out he’s been messaging other girls I’ve gone to pieces! I can’t have meant that much to him if he’s doing that!
The thing is, I was miserable leading up to the break up, when it happened I was relieved so why am I a mess now?
I’ve also read on google it takes half the length of your relationship to get over it. Am I really gonna feel like this for 4 years???

Also when stbxh drops dd off later do I say anything? What if he says something? Do I just keep it brief?

Happy Birthday OP. Hope you had a nice time with your sisters.
Going through same thing - been broken up a month after 20 year relationship. Ex has moved on, has been over the relationship for months while I'm still grieving which makes it worse.

Its tough! what I've found is being around friends/family as much as possible. Friends that I've known for ages and know me for 'me' and not just as a part of a couple (old workmates/school/uni friends) have been great. Found my friends that knew me as part of a couple lovely but a bit distant. Never mind.
Also, find a great counsellor - might take a few tries but I have a fantastic one now which is great. And be easy on yourself, you're going through a lot!