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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What's the best way to dump someone?

42 replies

TeeCee · 11/04/2007 15:16

Asking for my bessie.
We just can't think of how to do it and want some help / ideas please.

She's been seeing him since last summer.
Basically he's never truly lit her fire but she thought he was really nice (he is really nice) and she went for it and it was all very ....nice, and she thought (we hoped), he might really grow on her and she might fall in love.
That ain't happenin! Not now and not ever.
Sex not great.
Now he's just beginning to irritate her a bit really.
It's just plodding along.

He had a silly girly hissy fit over something on Tuesday morning and she was overly cross with him and now he's sending her emails and texts saying he hopes they can sort it out and a massive bunch of flowers just turned up at work for her!

He was married a little while ago and that went wrong very quickly after he married. My best mate is the first girl he's seen since his marriage went tits up.
Think he might be really quite into her.
It's not reciprocated.

What should she do?

Act out the scene for me.
The winning idea gets a present!

OP posts:
Twinmummyx2 · 11/04/2007 16:04

oh..please..can we...please....

TeeCee · 11/04/2007 16:09

I sort of mentioned the email but actualluy that is a bit cruel and as I mentioned it I kind of thought, ohh no'
It was basically telling her how much he lved her and how she was his future and how something she once said to him last year made him smile still and ....

Oh dear.
How awful

OP posts:
Boco · 11/04/2007 16:12

That is why MY idea is the kindest.

NadineBaggott · 11/04/2007 16:12

There's only one way to do it.

Meet with him, sit him down and tell honestly that he's not the one.

lou33 · 11/04/2007 16:13

she has to tell him now that she does not see that future for them

NadineBaggott · 11/04/2007 16:14

please don't do it by text!

frumpygrumpy · 11/04/2007 16:14

boco just wants the present, what is the present? I also love boco's idea but again, needs delivering with a straight face and a hairy upper lip.

Sorry, this isn't really funny is it. Poor bloke.

BUT, its going to happen anyway.

fireflyfairy2 · 11/04/2007 16:19

Aw I'd feel shit at the email too

But why should she settle for someone who obv isn't right for her? Sad but True.

lou33 · 11/04/2007 16:21

i had no choice but to tell my friend by email as he lives in spain

TeeCee · 11/04/2007 16:28

No idea what the present is yet! LOL!

Hey I might win it! LOL!

Sorry.

ummm, yes where were we?

It does have to be sooner rather than later.
Oh bollocks we're all supposed to be going out to dinner together.
My DP is gutted, he really likes him!

God I really want her to find 'the one'.

Am glad she has realised that he isn't though. It's been obvious to me for ages.

OP posts:
lou33 · 11/04/2007 16:30

go out to dinner and she can tell him afterwards?

Twinmummyx2 · 11/04/2007 16:33

maybe she should cancel the double date thingy with you and tell him its just them 2 going out, he might get an idea then so he won't be so shocked when she tells him the bad news?

CarGirl · 11/04/2007 16:34

omg - what if her proposed in the meantime.........

can't you get him a new date all lined up....

TeeCee · 11/04/2007 16:35

No the dinner thing will have to be rethought. It's a 9 weeks away and was going to be her or other best mate and our fellas at a very posh hotel restaurant.
Maybe she'll meet soemone new really quickly and bring him?!?!

OP posts:
TeeCee · 11/04/2007 16:36

Jesus the proposing thing has scare dme, God knows what she'll think! She'll jump out of her skin at the thought!

OP posts:
OrvilleRedenbacher · 11/04/2007 16:37

she rings him
meets for cofee in public place
you are to arrive afetr 30 mins for a GYBY appointement she is coming to( he will eb scared and oyu an play the mother of three role)

so she talks in public place - no hoo ha
and theres a deadline

madamez · 11/04/2007 17:22

Meet him for coffee, be kind but firm: she's really not ready for a committed relationship right now anyway, she thinks he is, but it doesn't feel right to her. He's a luvverly bloke and will find someone soon. Best of luck. Bye. Then walk out, with sweet smile.

It's the best thing to do. If you stick with someone because they're nice, kind, monogamously inclined but they don't actually get your fanjo throbbing, then you'll end up wanting to stab them after a while.

Failing that, suggest: "I couldn't tell you before but I have this sexual fantasy that I long to act out. It involves (oh, use your imagainations, eating own poo off a silver plate, dressing up as a Tellytubby/him being rogered up the back entrance by the England squad, Alsatians, stinging nettles, amputation...)

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