One word XBOX

[user1499288566]

Is it okay or just pathetic of a grown man

nt. I see no comparison between playing a game which involves trying to run over a prostitute

I’ve never once ever played a game that does that in my 17 years gaming.

Personally I would like a poll from people who think their OHs spend too much time on mumsnet. I think it would be interesting.

It's really winding me up, my DP spends more time on his Xbox with his online buddies than spending time with me and our DS. It's quite lonely being at home a with a baby and not having any real adult interaction

That’s the gamer not the game.

Any hobby that takes from family time is the problem with the person doing it. No matter what it is.

People don’t get sniffy about books because reading books is considered to be a desirable pursuit.

Gaming can be addictive though whereas reading books is not. But there are lots of positive effects on the brain of gaming too.

It always comes back to ‘it’s a hobby and if you are doing it in an antisocial way then it’s a problem’

I’m married to a gamer - it’s his main interest and takes over his life- he has always prioritised it above me and family life- I really hate it but have never dared give him an ultimatum because he would choose the computer.
If you are in a position to leave now (unfortunately I’m not or I would) do leave it will always come first

Dp and myself are both gamers - once the kids are in bed we'll often play either together or separately rather than watch a film etc

I'm a massive gamer, but everything else always comes first. You cant go around blaming the industry when it's just individuals who think the world revolves around them.

It's not the games that's the problem it's the person.

My Oh might get a new game and play 3/nights over the week when ds has gone to bed. I am more than happy to lounge about in other rooms with access to a different tv, though I prefer a book in the bath.

He never does it when ds is up and around cos the games are 18+ and it's evenings after work anyway.
It's just a different way to enjoy a story to reading or watching a movie. He can go weeks without playing, then like I say get a new game and he's more into it.

It's not done at the expense of anything else. I think it's so boring but that's just me.

You dont say all Volvo Drivers are reckless because one had an accident once...

My dad hated Volvo drivers because apparently Volvos were statistically far more likely to be involved in fatal crashes with motorbikes .
But yes, gaming. I agree it depends how it fits in with your life. I think to those who say it's like watching the TV, the problem with gaming is that it's difficult to do it in the same room as someone doing something else. DH and I spend some time sitting in front of the TV, but we're generally chatting to each other at the same time. That's not a problem though if you don't mind, but I get the impression that you do.

Is it okay or just pathetic of a grown man
The hours each day my DW spends on candycrush are mind boggling, she will do it while eating, while talking to me and while catching up on telly but its TV where the true problem lies.

She has been binge watching past series of The Walking Dead prior to the new series, having already binge watched all the previous series of Game of Thrones for the same reason earlier in the year and next year she will binge watch Dr Who again from Ecclestone on and plenty more no doubt.

Can't stand TWD, GOT is mildly entertaining but she watches them concurrently whether I am there or not so I can never follow whos plotting against who etc and Dr Who I stopped watching after Tennant.

Then there is strictly, casualty, eastenders, handmades tale and various other dramas which she usually records on series link and again watches at her pace and I maybe catch half the episodes. I now pop headphones on and listen to music but get accused of ignoring her?

I have been clear I'm not ignoring her I'm ignoring what she's watching, but she insists on being in control of the remote (openly admits to being a control freak) and says I can watch what I want when she has gone to bed. To be fair I do sometimes and other times I spend an hour or 2 on the PS4.

If anyone is pathetic its me; not for playing some PS but for puting up with her TV habits.

Im happy for anyone to do what makes them happy, totally, but when you have a child i expect him to want to play with her more then game , when we go out As a family he don't enjoy anything he often wants to just get back home , and it's normally to go on the Xbox for bit .and if not on Xbox he will sit on his phone. I'm cleaning, entertaining our child, washing etc, I don't get to put my feet up and chill on Xboxs or phones because I'm bored of cartoons or whatever, my free time starts when she in bed , it seems to be a thing where women are expected to carry on and put up , men seem to think if they work then they have done their bit , how about don't have kids stay single please your self happy days.

It's not the Xbox, it's him.

Hmmm, so you've got a manchild then. That wouldn't work for me.

Have you tried explaining to him why you feel he needs to engage with family life (just in case he doesn't have the emotional maturity to work it out for himself)?

Iv brought it up loads , never seems to change, I just stand there sometimes and watch him without him knowing and iv never seen so much interest and focus in something , I often think I wish he was that bothered about me. He use to be so into me , and I felt truly loved by him , but now I don't feel special at all , hate just feeling apart of the furniture

I really believe gaming is a hobby which is very difficult u less you are both into it. DH and I are both gamers (board and computer) and lots of our couple friends are too. I think if you can share it it’s fine, but I have witnessed lots of gamer friends try and fail to have relationships with non-gamers, and vice versa.

If I had to be with someone who loved football, for example, and they wanted it on tv all the time and went to all the matches and spent hours each week playing it, our relationship wouldn’t last! I think it’s something you need to have in common.

Of course there are always exceptions

The issue isn't the games console, it's that he pisses off to do his own thing and leaves you to do the shitwork without support.|

If he won't listen to you when you try to discuss it, the only thing left is an ultimatum.

ToothTrauma talks a lot of sense.

I absolutely know I could never be attracted to a 'gamer'. The image of someone slobbing around, ignoring the world around them and wasting hour upon hour glued to a games console repels me and I would absolutely judge an adult who chooses to spend their life like this.
shudder

I don't even think I could be friends with that sort of person, let alone live with one. The behaviours described in this thread are so alien to my experience of the world, and for that I am truly thankful.
Look at all the hideous crimes in recent years where violent and misogynistic 'game play' have been cited as contributory factors. Vile.

OneInAMillion thanks for saying I talk sense but no thanks for judging me as a slobby waster who causes hideous crimes

Oh knob off million you’re talking out your arse.

No, Tooth, if you read my post again, you will see it is the content of the games which has been cited as a contributory factor in crimes. I certainly didn't say that you, or any other gamer, "caused" said crimes.

As for the response of Gamerchick, I think you've proved my point!

I’m currently awaiting my Xbox X to arrive next month and for the new Star Wars. So is my DH.
We are both pathetic adults I guess.

Seriously, either join in - which I’m sure your OH would appreciate, or turn it off until other stuff is done. If you explain it then I’m sure he will understand. If not, then it’s not him gaming that’s the issue. Sorry.

I don't think it's pathetic at all. I love gaming, so does my partner. I've gone through spells in the past where I haven't played as often but him using the consoles has never bothered me.
If it's in use 24/7 and takes place of adult conversation then it's obviously a problem, but I personally find gaming really fun!

It's not the hobby that's the problem, it's your partner. I've dated gamers - only one was obsessive over it. I've known people to obsess over football, cricket, rugby, running, cycling, soaps, books...any hobby can be a problem when it takes over your life.