Dh and I have been married for over 14 years. Three dc 9,6 and 4.5. The youngest two have autism and ADHD. The youngest hugely affected (can't speak, struggles to walk, lots of ritualistic behaviour). I stopped working when our middle dc was 1 as I knew they wouldn't cope in childcare. My dh would not have made a good sahp. I thought our 2nd dc was a one off and never expected that a third might have autism to. Here's the issue. My dh works and I do the home stuff and school stuff. All fine. He goes out 3-4 times a week and I'm left putting the kids to bed alone. The resentment has come as I feel I'm the one covering the kids Sen. Youngest has hypermobility and I'm the one looking at therapy. I feel like I have the weight of the mental load of their disabilities. I suspect my middle dc might also have dyslexia but again dh doesn't remotely look into this. It's left to me. Also two of the dc have an autoimmune disease. I feel like he parents them as if they no disabilities. He doesn't seem to want to be involved in therapies or what we need to do. He'll listen when I talk about it but doesn't get involved. I get he's at work until six most days but I'm struggling with meeting the needs of my youngest (is only in school an hour a day but that's another story). When I've tried to explain how I feel he gets all defensive and about how he's at work all week. I don't expect him to take it all over but to have some involvement. Is that fair?