Post c section dh problem... help please!

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Hi had a c section 5 months ago. Had a crap time starting breast feeding wasn't expecting an emergency c section etc etc. DH was great looking after dd when I first came out of hosp etc. Now I am feeling nothing is attracting me to him at all. I don't want hugging let alone sex! I feel all touched out by the end of the day playing with highly demanding dd and bfing all day long, when the evening comes I feel like I want my body back. Also tummy feels weird and numbish (doctor says this might never go?!) around scar and I don't like it touched and breasts have a nutritional purpose now and having them touched by dh is weird.
Am I a freak? How can I overcome these feelings? I have no desire for dh at all, poor bloke. Everyone else seems to be shagging by now, we attempted it and due to my hang ups and tension it wasn't highly sucessful

Can't comment on the C-section stuff but I personally found breastfeeding really squashed any desire for sex
Most of my bf mates said the same

My scar was numb and still 14 months later, is numb on the actual scar itself. I didn't like him touching it either as I couldn't feel what he was doing IYSWIM.
Plus I was wearing a night bra to bed and didn't want him touching me there as I was leaking.

In the end I sat him down and told him over a (few) glasses of wine what I felt. It made everything a lot better as he knew where he could and couldn't 'go'
Tell him, as soon as you can, it will help.

Then spend some time getting pampered somewhere, part of my problem was I felt my body wasn't really mine anymore, it was DD's and had been sliced and diced by a stranger, so it wasn't until I could relax with it that I could relax with DH.

BTW, wine is probably not essential, I just needed it to be able to have the conversation. And we have been together 11 years.....

This sounds entirely normal to me. I had a section and b/fed and understand how you feel. Just give yourself time and be nice to yourself. You are exhausted and you just need tlc at the moment, none of this sex nonsense!

I had a vaginal delivery and also felt like you for about a year IIRC. V difficult because until you've been through it you have no idea how it feels, so dh will not be able to understand. Agree you really have to take a deep breath, have a nice meal and explain it to him.

Just an idea - could you face having sex if there are some new rules? I asked dh to leave my breasts alone while I was bf and he managed it. I did have sex to 'keep my hand in' as it were but didn't really enjoy it properly for ages. Sorry for TMI.

Thank you ladies makes me feel more normal to know its not just me!
Just spoke to him a bit about it and he understands, as much as he can anyway.
Beansprout I loved your post particularly!
He is very understanding but it just makes me feel bad that I don't really fancy him much at the moment. Some nights as I am lying there bfing dd at 3am, she is snuffling away with a cold (you know when they are properly snorting as the poor loves can't breathe but don't want to stop eating, or is my dd a greedy girl?!) and he is breathing loudly and kind of wetly with his mouth hanging open drooling onto the pillow (sorry for tmi there!!) I just want to scream! Everyone is being loud and demanding and all I want to do is sleep ffs!
You are right I think I am exhausted and hormonal, going for a looooong bath now I think. Thanks agin for help

You only want to scream? I got quite good at positioning DD so she would 'accidentally' kick him in the head as she fed...it soon shut him up!

You are definately not alone, most of my mum mates wre the same, whether they had a CS, BF or FF.

Hope you are enjoying your bath

I felt the same when i was breastfeeding my 4th baby, they were a no-go area for dp......

my scar and quite a big area around it is still numb 2 and half years on, it always will be now.

As for sex i had the opposite effect......i really missed sex when pregnant with the twins (only did it occasionaly when heavily pregnant-it just wasn't sexy at all) i waited a week after the c-section and then made him lol...i couldn't wait any longer..i needed to feel womanly again!

Everyone is different though....but maybe give it a few goes and all the lusting and loving might all come flooding back?!?!?!

i found i had no desire for sex whilst bf...reckoned it was those pesky hormones. Felt as you describe unsexy etc etc.

All went back to normal and feeling frisky again after i stopped bf. Your dh sounds understanding and inthe big picture its only a short time out of years and years together.

Good to know the frisky feeling does return. I also think it's the bf hormones but have been scared my switch has been flicked to 'off' forever.

As for c-s scar, mine is numb, but not too much around is numb. It's hard to tell what will happen with scars, I have a few very large deep ones from car accident and they are absolutely hugely numb and all surrounding area, and have been for 10 years, but they also went very badly keloid and so far, c-s scar is nicely neat.

I had a lovely bath ta!
Good to know others have the bfing hormone trouble too, its spark free in my household at the minute!!
Didn't realise that scars stayed numb maybe forever....
Hairy babys mum (love the name! My baby is bald as a er is it coot?! People think she is a boy!) you are right its not a long time in the great scheme of things, but it gets to the point where I'm beginning to wonder what all the fuss was about and if I would just not regain my spark! Dh is great about it, so he will just have to wait for another 6-9 months or however long I go on bfing!!!