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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Right now I really really hate my MIL

29 replies

LowFatMilkshake · 10/04/2007 20:10

She is the most miserable sour old cow I know right this very minute. She doesnt want to visit us until DS chicken pox have all dried up in case she gets shingles. Despite me telling her my GP has reassured me DS will not be contagious 7 days after the intial outbreak of spots. She spoke to me like I was dirt on her shoe and the rest of her family may tolerate it but I will not!

She did'nt even ask how DS (which is just 17 weeks old) is coping, or even seem moved that he has them in his eyes etc - she just said it's part of childhood. Despite the fact my GP said he had never seen them in a baby so young and what a bad outbreak it was.

My poor little man is covered in calamine and dosed up as much as possible with medised to sooth the itching, he looks just awful - although always has a smile for his mummy.

And my DD is desperate to see her GP's and all this old cow can think about is herself. She seems to think she is the only person in the world who has shingles. She's not happy unless she is ill and getting attention from everyone. I have totally had it. I am not inviting her here again and I will not be stepping foot in her house again. If we go there DH will have to take the GC's to her himself I will not have my children passed over and I will not be spoken to like dirt.

My DC's are not looked upon very favourably by her and I am sick of it. She has 4 DG's and she should treat them all the same. But no if my DD does something good it's because she is older than the others. If she does something bad the others never do it.

DH and I are almost arguing over it as her poisonous ways seem to be geting to other people in his to the point where FIL has snapped at his own DD a couple of times. Ohhhhhhhhh

Sorry rant over.

OP posts:
LowFatMilkshake · 11/04/2007 11:53

trouble is she and SIL's DF both got shingles when niece had CP so they now believe otherwise.

Although as I pointed out both were run down at the time from other illness's - this was ignored!

OP posts:
robin3 · 11/04/2007 11:54

MIL's my favourite subject.

Bottom line is you can't change her...the only thing you can do is to process her words and actions differently in your head so that it becomes water off a ducks back. Some people are good at this and others aren't...personally I'm rubbish at it but I'm trying so hard to not give any of her words a single moments thought.

Manage your DD's expectations so she doesn't get hurt then ignore, ignore, ignore. People like this will hate to have no impact more than anything else.

Good luck...it's very hard I know.

BandofMothers · 11/04/2007 11:58

Think you'll have to accept that they will not be around while he's poorly. Experts are always changing their minds about things so [shrug]
She sounds a pita(pain in the ass) let her come to you or not at all. I have MIL ishooes too. She is agrophobic and doesn't go out much. She pissed me off big time and I've been twice since boxing day, only cos I had to.

If DH can't be arsed to take them she doesn't see them

They are his parents let him go on his own with them, or just dd if you're bfing. Then he can put up with it, and you can have a rest

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 11/04/2007 11:58

Milkshake.

All you want is for your MIL to love her GC the same. I would also feel that it was a personal slight if my DDs were not treated the same/loved as much as their cousins.

I hope that your DH can support you in this, it's horrible being stuck in the middle

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