Birthday wishes to my Ex G/F ?

[BANANABOX2]

ll try to keep this short n sweet...Broke up with my ex of two years back in June, 3 weeks before my birthday. She sent a text wishing me HB.

Five months later, she is coming up to a BIG birthday and I'm in a quandry. Should I or shalln't I ?

We've seen each other/spoken once in that time and discussed what went wrong. The break up was simply down to 'our compatibility' according to her. There were no third parties involved and we both trusted one another. She said she'd like to be friends in the future and we both accepted that as being good, yet she has made absolutely no effort to contact me, not even a simple hello. I've not even had an invite to the party she is throwing. There was no animosity between us during our long chat, but she was quite distant and cold at times, though we did hug each other when saying goodbye. It was me that initiated the previous contact to get some understanding on what went wrong. She has emotionally moved on and is dating, whereas I still miss/love her and haven't.

I want to wish her HB as I would feel it cruel and unkind not to, however her silence has pretty much made it clear to me that she's just not interested in me as a friend or anything else so perhaps I should just get on my life and ignore it ?

I know I'm over analysing and for some it would be a very straight forward decision to make, but for me, it's meaning sleepless nights. help ?

just looking for a female perspective on this really.

Nothing wrong with saying happy birthday if you're sure you'll be ok if she doesn't respond. If you're thinking this may be a way of reopening communication then you could be setting yourself up for hurt feelings but if you just want to do it to be friendly and don't mind if she doesn't respond then can't see anything wrong with that.

Send her a happy birthday on Facebook but don't hold your breath for a chance to talk about what went wrong, she probably might not know exactly other than it might not have felt right for her? Good luck OP, I hope you're able to move on in time.

I don't see the point, you aren't in contact and I wonder how you'll feel if she doesn't reply or you just get a 'thanks'.

Why do you want to be friends? You still have feelings for her, I imagine if you didn't anymore you wouldn't be bothered about being friends, she isn't.

If all it's going to achieve is leave you feeling hurt then don't do it.

Wow lots of long replies.
Short answer is NO!
Don't contact her.

Instead of pondering about whether to send her a message or not why not be thinking about ways to meet other people and do other things?
This lady isnt interested in being your friend or anything elce so why bother?. She doesnt care about you so you're wasting your time.
There are loads of nice people out there,I'd be looking towards building some new friendships with people who will be bothered about you.

I wouldn't do it via social media as you will be constantly looking to see whether she's replied and that could be upsetting if/when she doesn't. I would send a small birthday card (with the big birthday number on) and a very short HB message. Don't take it round, just pop a stamp on it and bung it in the post. If she wants to, she can send a message to say thank you for the card, but don't be upset if she doesn't.
It's still v early days to get over a sad break up but you will move on eventually - I got fed up of being fed up! Keep busy and try to enjoy the small things in life that make you happy. Good luck.

I think I know her well enough to know that she will probably respond with a thanks, but I can't really see anything more than that and I'd be surprised if there was.
It didn't take her very long at all to put herself on a dating site and reading between the lines it seems to me that she was on a quest to find a new man to show off by the time her party comes around.

So don't do it.

To be honest I would find it a bit weird if any of my exes wished me happy birthday.

I think it's best to act as the person you'd like yourself to be. So if it were me,, Id sent a text saying

'Happy birthday old timer! Enjoy the big 40 & hope the morning after celebrations aremt too painful! 😂'

Or something breezy that doesn't appear to have any undertones or expectations. Also try to date other people, maybe go to counselling to feel more comfortable with yourself & improve your self esteem

Some interesting replies, very mixed views indeed and real food for thought. Hmmm...

Jesus. Why bother? She’s clearly not actually interested in being your friend so why are you even thinking about drawing it all out longer?

When.I split up with my ex fiance I distanced myself from him until he was in another relationship. I.loved him and his friendship and because of that I didn't want to give him false hope.

I think you are spending too much time thinking about her.

What's the point? Why bother? The friendship isn't there. You are just prolonging the pain.

Move on.

Please don't contact her.
It's over.
She doesn't want you as a friend or BF.
Keep your dignity. Ask someone on a date. Go have fun. Explore new relationships.
Don't be the drippy guy who sends a message hoping your ex will suddenly realize you're 'the one'. She won't....