Is it even possible that he doesnt understand?

[Artemiss]

Hello. "D"F of two years is two different people. The nice one and the horrible one. You never know when he will change to this nasty horrible person. Yesterday he went into a fit of rage over me telling him that his apologies for last week (he was insulting me ) meant nothing because he just carries on doing it. This is the only thing that i said. He went into a fit of rage over the phone , his voice changed and started mocking me and insulting me. It lasted couple of hours. I went into an unemotional state and i was just listening. After a bit i started taking notes because when he is like that i genuinely forget after a bit. I dont have memory issues , just when he goes like that its like my mind goes blank. Among the insults was that he can now see my true colours, i probably nagged to death my previous partner thats why he left me( we separarted after 15 years, still on great terms) , i probably have been with at least 6 men (only two and he knows it). He is a luxury item in an expensive shop and i am a worthless piece of shit , a pound shop item. I should apologise to him (no idea what for). He doesnt give a shit what i think because i am delusional. I am stupid (i said i can not hold the hone and talk to him while cooking) and i need extra hands for what people with basic IQ do easy. If i have any more clown stories to say or if i done . I pre plan to make him angry (??)so i can have something to nag him about. My value is diminished because i had a child with another man (miscarriage with previous partner ten years ago) and i better start realizing that he is making a favor. Etc etc
I stayed quiet, and that angered him even more. I just put the phone down and went to sleep. Today he pretends that nothing happened. He messaged "hoping" (demanding) "some love" and "nice words". He acts as its a normal day. He even messaged that i am probably busy (i dont reply to him) and "we can perhaps figure out something later "
I find it impossible to believe that he deosnt understand what he is doing. Can someone please explain to me whats going on with him, if you have been in similar situations. I want to break up with him but i am scared because he can get so nasty. I believe that if i understand whats happening it will be helpful for me

This man sounds exactly like my Dad. He does and says the things you've listed OP so similarly I really had to remind myself it's not the same person (he's reached a point now that I seriously doubt he could meet anyone).
Leave him. It's a lost cause, he will only get worse as the years go on, and it will destroy you.

He sounds like a nasty piece of work. He knows what he’s doing

OP what do you think ? And how do you feel about it?

This man is not your friend. Friends and people who love you do not spend 2 hours listing your supposed faults and misdemeanours.

You can end the relationship. You don't need his permission.

PP have pointed to Women's Aid - it is a good resource and can offer you advice about what you can do to leave.

Good luck OP.

God. He’s awful. Get away fro him as quickly and safely as you can.

He sounds horrid, really destructive. I'm not sure if that type of person is a nasty core that seeps through to the outside from time to time, or whether it's switching from one self to another... but whichever it is, if someone seems to need/desire to systematically destroy their loved ones by really nasty undermining awful words, then, they're not good to be around. Full stop.

Sweetheart, I think you have posted about this situation before, and you received good advice then.

Please please take the advice everyone is giving you. He is a despicable abuser and you are his victim. You do not deserve to be treated like this.

What would you think if another young woman (or even your own daughter sometime in the future) told you that her boyfriend treated her in this way? What would your advice be to her?

He knows what he does but doesn't know how to function differently.As a result he will not change.

His comments are likely to be projection.Any time you "make" him feel bad or worthless (by standing up for yourself) he will lash out at you.

It's not rational and it's not fixable.