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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trying to distance myself

7 replies

Rosieeee · 09/10/2017 08:20

So me and my boyfreind been together nearly a year we’ve been through so much and he’s recently brought a house with his sister... since we’ve been together he’s basically stayed at mine every night know he’s got this house and is busy doing things he only stays a couple times a week and when he gets the house he said he want me to stay there a few times a week!, I’m just struggling with not seeing him I had a really bad relationship before him were my confidence was completely gone I was in a really bad place when I met my partner know and he just made me feel so special and helped me in so many ways and we’ve spent so much time together and know I’ve just gotta distance myself from him and I’m really struggling😕

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 09/10/2017 08:33

Sorry but I have absolutely no idea why you want to distance yourself from him. That's what people say when someone is no good for them or they've done something wrong. I'm struggling to understand your post to be honest.

Shoxfordian · 09/10/2017 08:35

It seems like you need to develop some of your own interests and friends outside of the relationship. It's not healthy to rely on one person for all your emotional needs or even all your socialising.

Let the relationship have a bit of space and you'll enjoy it more when you do see him. Find a book club or a dance class or a meetup group one night a week and do that instead.

If you carry on then you risk smothering the relationship and losing it. Be brave and find other stuff to do too and your relationship will be stronger

JoJoSM2 · 09/10/2017 08:44

I agree. Have a life, basically. Seeing each other 2 times a week isn’t too bad - gives you a good balance of time with boyfriend and time with friends/hobbies/gym/work etc.

Rosieeee · 09/10/2017 10:44

Yeah I do have friends and go out and I work part time, it’s just of an evening we’re allways together and have been for most of the past year so know I’m trying to get used to not seeing him as much I’m finding really hard

I understand it’s gunna be good for us and he sees I need to find strength in myself and realise that I don’t need him all the time x

OP posts:
MinervaSaidThar · 09/10/2017 10:59

You can go and see him at his. He can cook for you!

Adrift17 · 09/10/2017 11:02

Why has he bought a house with his sister?

Rosieeee · 09/10/2017 11:54

Don’t ask why he’s brought a house with his sister lol, he said it’s the only way he’ll be able to afford he’s own so there doing it up to then sell it’s caused us so many problems but that’s another subject lol x

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