Had a rare child free Saturday night and DP booked a meal out.
I've recently gone back to work after 6 months off with depression. I normally don't bother with make up but I made a real effort and I thought I looked good. DP didn't say anything but wanted a compliment about how he looked in a new top.
Since I've gone back to work (I work 3.5 hours a week less than him) I've been annoyed that he hasn't picked up any household tasks. He works nights and I get that he is tired. He says because his job is manual and mine isn't that he doesn't understand how I could be tired 
I thought the meal would be a chance to have a discussion about roles, big mistake. He didn't want to talk about it. Said he thought it was us time not talking about household shit. He also spent time on his phone messaging friends while I was talking to him, which I said was disrespectful.
Got home had a big row. He said it was a waste of money and he wants half back when I get paid. I slept in my daughters bed last night.
I just feel undervalued and pissed off. I'm still adjusting to work and a new role (public sector). I can't keep on top of the housework, laundry, childcare, cooking, shopping, and dog walking on my own. Not to the standard he expects any ways and why the fuck should I do it all??
I need some way to make him understand it isn't just my responsibility. Any words of wisdom? And sorry this is an essay 
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Relationships
Date night disaster
Rarity75 · 08/10/2017 10:52
I think it's obvious that I need to get him to move out. That scares me, his temper is a scary thing to behold. And I've threatened it before and not followed through
Just in case he gets nasty, OP - recruit some help. Have your parents on stand-by, or a friend. I bet he won't be so big and scary when other people are around to witness it.
Take care 
So after 4 hours sleep I went to work. Confided in a friend who was exactly what I needed. She didn't tell me what she thought about him, she talked about me and why I may have tried to sort out someone else. She gets the helper in me.
Spent all day feeling sick, came home with DD after zero contact all day. Can you guess what I found? A trimmed hedge, a door with a handle on it, an attempt to fit a dog gate, washing machine on and dishes done. He was acting completely normal. Possibly a little OTT on the friendly front with DD.
I took her to beavers and then told him how unhappy I am. That one day of pretending to be supportive does not cut the mustard. That everything I said last night stands. He threatened suicide and then bought me flowers
At a weird impasse. I'm being coldly normal in front of DD but told him exactly what I thought out o her company.
He isn't going to go quietly is he?
That's the bit you have to remember through all the love-bombing, helpfulness and treats OP - he prefers to be an arse. If he didn't he'd be Mr Nice and Normal all the time. Good for you for sticking to your guns. It's not easy.
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He asked you for half the money for dinner back. Think about that for a second.
The implication is that he has paid for you to behave in a certain way, and wants his money back because he hasn't done what you wanted. He bought you for the evening and, in his eyes, didn't get what he wanted.
Lovely, that. So romantic.
Stay strong
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