Hello,
Today is two years to the day that I found out my OH had been cheating on me with my best friend. I was more than halfway through my pregnancy when I found out and it was our first child together (we both have children from previous relationships)
we'd been together for two years at this point and it absolutely floored me. I've had difficult times in the past (bereavement, acrimonious split, etc) and this was pain on a whole new level.
Anyway, I decided to try and make things work. He was very apologetic and sometimes has taken lots of flak about his affair from me with good grace.
Things haven't been easy. I still feel such hurt from the memory of what he did. He was horrible at the time too, I just didn't know why....Quite often life has been a case of simply putting one foot in front of the other.
Anyway, I've had this date on my mind for a while. I haven't mentioned anything at all to him. No point. We both work and it's fairly rare for us to be in of an evening, with no early starts or children to run about for. Last night was one of those rare nights, and I was looking forward to just being alone with him, just watching telly or whatever. OH needed to pop out to sainsburys to get some bits and whilst he was out, a friend of his bumped into him and said they're having a bit of a spontaneous get together, and another couple (all of these people are lovely and friends of his, not really mine but I know them fairly well) and said why don't you come over? Without even asking me, he agreed on the spot and when he came back, he told me he was off to his friends house (this was about 9ish) and he'd be back about 1/2.
I didn't say much, just said 'you realise that tonight we are child free, apart from our baby, and we have no work in the morning. I'd really like it if you'd spend the evening with me, as time like this is so rare. Not verbatim but pretty much. He said yeah, but I've said I'll go now. I just repeated that him going out like this was fairly upsetting for me so it's up to you. He still went out, knowing that I was hurt a little.
Fast forward to today, I'm still feeling upset and tense. I've said to him that he effectively chose to put himself ahead (going out and having a laugh) of what's best for our relationship, he's adamant that he 'only went out' and I'm having a go at him for simply going out. I've said not at all, if it was pre arranged I'd have no issue, it's the fact that I outlined that we rarely spend quality time together but he still chose to go out knowing how I felt.
He thinks I'm overreacting and I'm worried my feelings about today's anniversary are amplifying my feelings. I'm feeling very hurt. Am I being an arse? Do I just need to get over it?
Any thoughts more than welcome 