Think I fancy my BIL & feel so guilty

[attentionseeker]

Not sure why I am posting, but want to let this out.

I am married to a wonderful man, he adores me, & I also adore him. We have beautiful children & are, on the whole, a very happy couple. We rarely argue & never really bicker about mundane things.

So why, all of a sudden, have I found myself covetting my sisters husband?

He is kind, loving, but he has a manly nature, wheras my dh is gentle & hates confrontation.

BIL & I have the same type of personalities, we are both home bodies, both enjoy listening to the same radio shows & reading the same kind of books, which always means we have lots to talk about. my sister is out every night of the week and often leaves her children here, meaning I make BIL his dinner and he spends the evening here. I enjoy his company.

I would never, ever in a million years contemplate ever having an affair, or even telling BIL I have a schoolgirl crush on him. I have been married twelve years and my sister and BIL have been married for 16years.

I guess I just enjoy his company, We flirt, we text each other if we heard things on the radio, we call the stations and get songs played for each other. funny songs or our favourite band of the moment, nothing romantic. I seriously dont see him in a romantic way. Yet I get all giggly when I think of him.

we were out on Friday night and we chatted for ages. we had a real laugh. I just wish my husband had some of the qualities, even though I cant stress enough how much I love my husband.

Sorry this is so long. And I dont even know if I want/need advice. It just feels good to write it and try to stop feeling guilty for something that hasnt and never will happen. further more I dont want it to happen but I dont want to stop contact with a man who share my interests. my husband and my sister go to classes together and are close too, we just are a close family, and I would be devastated if I thought my husband fancied my sister or vice versa.

Talk sense into me maybe???

and she has just told me off

I've been too busy in RL to be fighty this weekend.

When I did pop my head on the weaning thread I had it bitten off.

I don't like the feel of MN today, that's why I started a nice thread earlier.

Sorry, I hadn't realised there were so many crank threads here tonight or I wouldn't have started this one.

did I? UCM??? what were you up to????

I was just ..........being nosy....you know, like nosy!!

fgs have you shagged him yet or what

oh, don't feel guilty. you haven't done anything wrong. in the course of a long relationship, you can be attracted to other people. it happens! they can't get you for an idle crush .
some of this is dangerous territory though, so you need to be careful. but you know that

He'd probably be crap in bed anyway

as nosy as to pushed me off the window?

HCC< thanks. Yes, I feel guilty for even thinking of someone who is like a brother to me, in the way I have been. It's practically incest fgs.

I think it's time husband and I made time for each other like we used to. I guess I just see BIL doing some nice little things for sister and miss the small things dh used to do for me before we had the children.

LOL at UCM

Man this weekend Mumsnet is MENTAL

Message withdrawn

From what you have posted here it seems that you have your head screwed on.

When we are in the thick of married life..dirty socks, bills, demanding kids... we lose sight of the 'fun stuff'

Try the old flirting stuff with your DH instead. I reckon that you don't actually fancy your BIL, you just fancy the idea of him.

I think it's the fact we sometimes can text a few times a day, especially if he hears a song he knows I like, or if he gets a msg he forwards it to my phone.

Dh never would think like this. He never calls me from work, or never texts for nothing, to say Hi, or anything. if I text him he usually will reply, but it will be one word answers like "ok" or "me 2".

I guess when we are away we will have more time for eachother and hopefully I will realise what a twat I have been and realise I dont actually fancy BIL at all, you're right, its just the idea of someone who talks to me, knows what I am talking about, and is actually interested in what I am saying.

Fuck me Chan, you was taking up most of it anyway you fat cow!

If he wasn't your BIL I'd say enjoy the fantasy. I feel for you though. I used to have a crush on one of ex-p's mates . It wasn't anything to do with not being attracted to ex-p (even though we are now seperated - totally unrelated), it was just that he had qualities that I found attractive and it was an easy fantasy. I'm single now and I certainly don't feel attracted to him anymore - it was just a bit naughty at the time and I think I needed to feel...well, naughty.

UCM, I think you are barking to the wrong tree.

oOOO Chan, just re read that, I am huge hun, I really shouldn't post stuff whilst drinking wine sometimes, I sound really horrible and I was joking.