Accidental or deliberate google search? Escorts!

[deepwater71]

Before I make a difficult decision please can someone tell me if this is an accidental or deliberate google search the previous search was a porn site, I've clicked on it today and it goes to vivastreet escort search. I'm not being naive I just want to believe that my husband hasn't searched for them but I guess he probably has and that's my line in the sand after a shit load of bad treatment

i had this exact excuse once from a boyfriend that viva street only showed up as a pop up from porn hub. It's absolutely bollocks I am afraid. He has unfortunately definitely searched for escorts. It's sad but true that these men who use sex services can so easily compartmentalise their lives.

You don't sound happy and I don't blame you. It can sometimes seem hard to believe but there are men that don't act like this. I have seen enough of the men who have used my services in the past and the lies they tell as to why they are doing it are laughable. One of the reasons I stopped was it was getting harder and harder to justify the hurt I was involved in causing so many women.

I was with a man who used escorts, porn etc and even though I used to do it and still work in the porn industry, it's not something I would now even entertain in a partner.

You sound like a strong, independent intelligent woman and once you break free of this asshole your life will be so much better

Thank you Maddiemademe, I've suspected it for ages. He once told me laughing about a house where two escorts lived he was laughing because they were old and about a Thai lady who worked in a shop in the town saying she works in a massage place in a different town. I asked him how he knew he said his workmates told him, he worked in London. This is a town 50 miles away and his workmates never visited him where he lived...ive been very stupid

You are not stupid far from it. Men like this become experts at lying, gaslighting and leading double lives.

It sounds like he might be a regular escort user then if he is aware where working girls live etc.

Has he been looking on his phone? I know on an iPhone you can search advanced website data and catch them out that way as many of them don't know that a phone stores all data even if you delete the search history. Can you google to see if his phone has advanced settings?

I think though it's pretty certain that he uses prostitutes, especially telling is when they mention friends use them. People used to see me on recommendations from friends as disgusting as that sounds. It's like one big game to them.

You need to make an action plan asap. It's terrifying leaving a relationship, particuarly if you are linked to them via employment, financially, housing etc. Your mental health though and your wellbeing is worth more than all this put together. First things first make a list of possible living arrangements. Family, friends or even squirrelling away enough for a deposit. Once you are free of this nasty gaslighting dickhead things will start getting better for you. X

You need to leave that job. Yes, you like it, but you will like other jobs, too. If you stay with him your self-esteem will be in tatters. You can't possibly work with him every day but not be in a relationship with him - that would be horrible.

Maddiemademe it was a few years ago, he's not mentioned it since because of my reaction, but his friends joke about him having them round. I'm beyond broken by him, don't feel good enough for anyone. After his comments about his ex I'm terrified to put on weight. I'm way smaller but I know these things should not matter. I'm very much not in porn star league though! I'll try the advanced data thing, I feel horrible checking up. It's not something I've ever done before. I've decided not to bother even asking him though there really doesn't seem any point.

Thank you for everyone's advice, it's helping me so much x

He is destroying your self confidence!! I am positive you are a beautiful woman and you are definitely superior to him.

If you feel you need concrete evidence then that's fine. Don't feel guilty about snooping, I think it's the least he deserves .

You really need to think about an escape plan though. I can't even begin to describe the feeling when I eventually left my scumbag ex. You have a whole life ahead of you, to meet someone who will worship you. I walked out with just the clothes on my back and was fortunate enough to stay with my parents until I got back on my feet. Is this an option for you?

It's my house so that's not a problem but I still keep thinking what if Im wrong and that I just need to find the right words to describe how much he hurts me and how to treat me then he will understand, I know I sound like a complete idiot

On the plus side my initial sti tests are clear, have to wait up to 4 weeks for the rest though.

You are not an idiot he is. It's really difficult to end things, especially when you are grasping onto hope that you are imagining things etc.

Do you have access to his computer, bank accounts etc? If he does use escorts a lot of the guys buy credits on adultwork to pay for girls private galleries before booking. If you can look on his account I think it is under aw and then a load of other jargon, at least it is when I get my credits paid to my account.

I don't think it's worth attempting to talk to him about it as he will just lie. Like I said there is nothing wrong with needing concrete evidence if that makes it easier for you. I got hold of my ex's phone in the middle of the night and found the evidence pretty quickly (he had gotten very complacent by this point and thought he was invincible).

Look through messages, even those said under a mans name giving address details or flat numbers. Most guys book with as little a detail as possible, under the guise of making an appointment of some kind. What phone does he have?

Don't waste energy on proof. You know he's horrible and you want to leave already. You don't need to put more energy into reasons to leave.

Put that energy into ways of leaving.

You already know you will have to leave your job. Accept that in your heart and start looking for a new job.

Maybe your job is one of the few good things in your life so that's why it feels so hard to let it go. When you are away from him you can have lots of lovely things in your life, like friends and a peaceful safe home.

God! , do you really want to be with this bloke?, leave him get over him and find someone better for your sake!.

justaboy if only it was that simple but thank you. I'm going to get my head straight and leave, tried to talk to him he just told me to shut up and stop nagging him. He's got no emotional intelligence and cannot understand anything or pretends not to. Thank you for everyones advice and help. Things are a lot clearer now x

If you need any help pm me. You can do it, you know you are worth so much more

As I began typing in "Escorial wool"... "Escorts" did appear on my search.

He has googled escorts and by accident escorial wool come up.
Not the other way around.

I just googled escorial wool and no escort websites or pop ups appeared.

It is that simple - it just all takes a bit of time and getting used to.
I hope you have made plans to leave and that Womens Aid are helping you.