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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Breaking Up Kind Of

7 replies

kajal2001x · 04/10/2017 07:54

So I liked this guy called Zeeshan. He's from the place that I'm around, we only live 10 minute walk from each other and i have many friends from his school even though he's one year older (although literally only 3 months age difference). We've been talking for more than 2 months and we had a few flirty snaps but im not that flirty so not much but we get along very very very well. He told me around 1 month ago that he liked me and although i didnt admit it, he already knew it because my mate told him when trying to sort something out. We never met because he was so busy and so was i but we were planning to. I am quite known in his school with both haters and friends and he had heard stuff about me but he asked me about it and i told him the truth (all of the rumours were false). He didnt seem to like me any less because of it. Now for the past week he seemed very distant but i thought it was only for the reason that he was busy as he is very sporty and he had many tournaments to compete in. Yesterday we were having a conversation and he just casually said "yeah ive got a girl now" as in they had just started dating. I just burst into tears and said "i dont think we should talk anymore" because i cant talk to him as a friend when i love him. We used to talk everyday and i loved him so much. He said "no we've known each other for so long" but i cant talk to him as a friend or brother or whatever its called. I cried all night and couldnt think about anything else. I want to wait for him because i love him and i cant love anyone as much and i dont know if hes generally a nasty person or hes just made a mistake but i love him and i promise hes not like the other boys, hes different and guenuine. Please reply because i cant get him out of my head and i need advice im so confused.

OP posts:
Finola1step · 04/10/2017 08:02

Walk away, head held high. It is a really tough lesson to learn but there are plenty of people out there who will quite happily keep you dangling on a string. He is using you as the back up girl in case it all goes wrong with this other girl.

Judge people not by what they say but what they do. He may say all the right things but his behaviour towards you is what matters. You deserve better.

Keep yourself busy over the next few weeks. Spend time with your friends. Look after yourself and it will get easier. But only if you cut contact and walk away.

kajal2001x · 04/10/2017 08:41

Are you sure thats all i should do? The thing is he could be confused and i dont want to let him go if he is confused?

OP posts:
silkpyjamasallday · 04/10/2017 08:46

Judge people not by what they say but what they do. He may say all the right things but his behaviour towards you is what matters. You deserve better.

^ This is great advice OP. Don't be a willing back up, find someone who wants to be with you 100% not someone who will keep you around in case things go wrong with his first choice. I did this when I was younger, and as soon as I thought the guy and I were a solid couple he went back to the first girl. I was just a time filler when she was not with him.

Finola1step · 04/10/2017 13:12

He is not confused. He wants to carry on chatting so that he isn't seen as the bad guy as well as keeping you as back up. He may well genuinely like you as a friend. But you want more than that.

Walk away. Save yourself from any more hurt. Show him and yourself that you won't be messed around. I did not learn that until well into my 20s and by goodness did i waste time on a couple of lads (or more!).

Zaphodsotherhead · 04/10/2017 13:19

You want to think he's different and genuine, because you are convinced you love him, and who would want to love anyone who was just the same as other boys and not genuine?

He's just a guy. He's met someone. And, hey, at least he told you, rather than stringing you along, so he's not so bad. But I guarantee that you will love someone else like you love him, one day., but I don't think you love him so much as you love the idea of him.

Keep your chin up, girl, and one day a gorgeous man will come along, just for you.

NotTheFordType · 04/10/2017 16:32

If that's his real name and your username is your real name then I strongly suggest your press "Report" on your post and ask Mumsnet HQ to edit the post.

How old are you both?

beesandknees · 04/10/2017 19:18

I assume you two are 15-16 years old?

I promise you, you will love many more boys. You're going to be fine.

The good news is that you will not always feel this way. Ride out a few weeks of feeling shit, keep busy, see friends, and you will feel better. Literally the only thing that will help is time - you ARE going to feel better x

Please do report your post, because it looks like you have used real names. That's a security risk and you need to ensure you ask to have that changed.

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