Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I went home upset because he got annoyed about the M word

9 replies

Azalea96 · 03/10/2017 23:16

More of a hand hold really. .probably really silly but I am just upset all day. My bf of four years usually we get on very well. Both divorced a long time from others. We neither of us want more kids as we're too old. Both have own homes. He asked me to move into his and I did . He told me he was happy but we just had a trivial argument over me being a bit down yesterday and he said he was looking forward to me being away this week. What brought me down was just a bad work day.He said he doesn't want to go on holiday with me unless I cheer up and he needs a break from me from his house. Then he apologised and wanted me to forget he said it. Later in the day I said I will give you some space as we are both tense and so I booked to go away earlier and he then said he's mad because last week when he told me he doesn't believe in marriage , I told him if I met the right girl he might change his mind and I promised I would never discuss marriage with him. I have not brought it up as he calls it the M word. I told him I do believe some marriages are good . We have chatted a little by phone, just small talk. The problem is he hasn't asked me to go back to his house where we've been living. He's rang and told me he's very tired from work. I can't help feeling like I have messed up but then a work friend has said to let him have his space. I am trying to relax but I can't stop thinking about it all.Confused

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 03/10/2017 23:20

Where are you staying?

expatinscotland · 03/10/2017 23:23

Doesn't sound like he sees you as a team.

Migraleve · 03/10/2017 23:23

he then said he's mad because last week when he told me he doesn't believe in marriage , I told him if I met the right girl he might change his mind. This stands out from your post more than anything. Im Not sure if it's just how you have written things but what I take from it is that he is hurt because you have suggested you are not the right girl. He will possibly read into that to be you thinking you are not right for him.

Perhaps. It's quite hard to follow so I could be way off.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 03/10/2017 23:24

You're too vulnerable, relying on his good will and accommodation. You need to have your home as your base.

highinthesky · 03/10/2017 23:24

You haven't messed up, you're seeing what he's like under pressure. Not exactly on your side, is he?

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 03/10/2017 23:29

Maybe you are a couple who work better when you don't live together. Quite normal for people past the child-rearing years from what I see.

I agree with your friend. Don't chase him. Let him have a bit of space but make sure he knows you want to continue the relationship.

category12 · 03/10/2017 23:30

I'm not sure how you think you've messed up - what, by not being constantly happy? By having a different opinion about marriage? A supportive partner would more likely say isn't it great we're going to go on holiday so you can forget about your work for a bit - not I don't want to go with you cos you're a drag. Confused

Is he worth it?

unfortunateevents · 03/10/2017 23:49

This is a bit difficult to follow but are you saying that you only became aware last week, after four years, that he doesn't believe in marriage? That seems far more of an issue than your augment today which, to be honest, sounds like just a falling-out after a bad day at work for both of you.

KurriKurri · 03/10/2017 23:58

So he asked you to move in with him and he boots you out when he needs a break ? He doesn't really see it as your home does he?

He doesn't want to go on holiday with you unless y ou cheer up - so you have to dance to his tune, you aren't allowed to have emotions or feel sad or down?

Have you got somewhere of your own to live ? If so I would move back there and I would back off and decide whether you want to stay with someone who needs 'breaks' from you, and tells you he won't go on holiday with you unless you behave yourself to his satisfaction.

I wouldn't want to.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.