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[elephantsandhearts]

Some perspective urgently required please

So not to drip feed or type for hours I'll try and keep it simple.

Moved from family and friends with DH of 1 year to a rural location several hundred miles away. I relied on him for everything initially and trusted him , unusual for me as I had a track record of choosing idiots who couldn't be trusted with the budgie let alone anything that walked talked had huge norks
Anyway after a year or so I felt stifled and managed to get a fab job that I love and embrace the country life. I miss my family terribly but they have just got on with their lives and it seems I wasn't that important to them. Last year my trust in DH was shattered when he commenced an emotional affair with his work colleague . I have neither forgotten or forgiven but due to a shock death in my family in which he supported me unquestionably I have moved on and we are seemingly ok.
He has now suggested he is fed up with work and we should take a pre retirement gap year and travel round Europe. Before everything happened I would of been excited but now I'm thinking if I gave up our little home and lovely job I may regret it if we split up while away.
Or should I just go with the flow and embrace life as I would of done a couple years ago.
Sorry that was rambling!

You need to take back some control and stop following his dreams. He cheated within a year of marriage and doesn't seem to have done anything to make amends for this.

Are you able to move back closer to your family and support network? I would definitely not go along with his plan. It seems like running away from problems, rather than addressing them and dealing within it.

How old are you both? You mentioned retirement. Surely you don't want to give up your home, job and security at this stage in life when he can't even stay committed for longer than a year.

Thank you for replying it would be fairly early retirement but a few years ago I would of been the one suggesting this adventure.
I feel so utterly torn as I adore my job but to stay here would be financially difficult on my own. Plus I'm not sure I want to be on my own as I never have. Going back to my home town does not feel feasible. He's trying, he claims, that this will be great for us as a couple. To get away and travel plus a chance for a fresh start without the reminder of his unfaithfulness.