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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice Needed

8 replies

Piglet369 · 02/10/2017 21:30

Ive been with a lovely man for 15 months and we recently got engaged - for the most part he is kind, considerate, loving affectionate and would do anything for me but on occasion he has a really bad temper and loses it and runs away back to his mums

He has been married twice before - has two sons from his 1st marriage and another son from his second marriage

He doesn’t see the two older boys and he won’t go into detail about why and says it’s none of my business

He has had to have full time custody of his youngest son since nov 2016 because his ex wife is an alcoholic and we nearly split up because he was so stressed about it - he’s also had to move back with his mum and at 49 he’s found it tough

He does have a bad temper and regularly storms out because of arguments we have - I guess I try to guide him with stuff but he sees it as controlling and loses it - I guess it could be controlling and I am working on that but some of the reasons I moan at him is because he is still smoking when he told me he was trying to give up - he was late to my 3 yr old granddaughters birthday last week and forgot the present too - I just felt disappointed and he said I overreacted - I am suffering with pms this week - anyway we resolved our issues and had a nice weekend - got together for a family Chinese and when everyone left he said what do you want to do with the washing up and I said you go shower and I’ll sort this out and he said no I’ll do it and I said no honestly it’s fine - I’ll do it then he said no I said I’ll do it! He started to get annoyed and I said why are you getting annoyed - it’s fine I’ll do it in the morning and he completely lost it and said he couldn’t cope with being made to feel angry all the time by me and he stormed off back to his mums - this was Saturday night abd I haven’t heard a word from him since

I just don’t know what to do or what to think ? Will he get back in touch do you think ? I know he loves me and I love him so much

Any advice on how to deal with this would be most welcome

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/10/2017 21:32

He sounds like a complete twat

I wouldn't bother, tbh. You can do better than this.

MoseShrute · 02/10/2017 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LastMangoInPeckham · 02/10/2017 21:37

That sounds like hard work. He stormed out because you wanted to wash up?

I would certainly think twice about marrying someone who considered that an appropriate response to a disagreement.

lookatyourwatchnow · 02/10/2017 21:38

Don’t marry him.

SandyY2K · 02/10/2017 21:45

Your engaged and he says it's none of your business why he had no contact with two of his children !

Why didn't you think this was a red flag.

The man has a serious problem. I doubt that you know the real him.

Don't marry him while these issues are present. Or better still not at all.

Piglet369 · 02/10/2017 21:50

He said his alcoholic ex wife (2nd wife) caused lots of problems with his two eldest sons

OP posts:
Apileofballyhoo · 02/10/2017 22:02

Don't marry him unless you want to sieve the rest of your life walking on eggshells and stopping yourself doing stuff in case he loses his temper. Also - I can't for the life of me understand having a huge thing like no contact with your DC and refusing to tell your life partner why. Red flag could not be any bigger.

beesandknees · 02/10/2017 22:26

He sounds like a massive waste of space OP

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