Hi everyone.
I started a thread about this very same subject back in February..
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2856016-OK-deep-breath?pg=3
I didn't end my relationship at the time.. I think because after the "Valentine's Day incident" we had a frank discussion (at my behest) where I laid on the line that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who to all intents & purposes seemed like they didn't like me very much. I went into great detail about what I needed - a hug occasionally, a hand hold and someone who actually wanted to have sex with me.
Things did improve over the summer, we resumed our sex life and because this gave me intimacy/made me feel wanted as a woman, it papered over everything else I was unhappy with. I thought the rest might come - sadly it hasn't.
On Friday night we went out with another couple and OH collected me from home. He was late collecting me so as a result, was already stressing about traffic/being late as venue was 90 mins away. There was no greeting when I got into the car, no "you look nice" - just asking me to google the address, then double check to make sure it was right on the sat nav.
The journey was almost silent (I knew then what sort of evening I was going to have) he said he'd had a busy week (never wants to talk about it) and cut a long story short we had dinner where he barely said anything , he said "no thanks" when I tried to hold his arm in the theatre, then drove home & dropped me off with hardly a word. I found out when we spoke yesterday that the reason he was stressed/upset was partly my fault because I'd been "very enthusiastic" i.e. - had made too much conversation with the other couple.
I just feel worn out by it all and bloody lonely. Almost every time we see each other, there's something I've done wrong, or not thought through or can't remember. I can't remember the last time I was hugged or felt valued. This has become the norm & I have no idea what a real relationship looks like. Actually, I lie - the couple we were out with on Friday have been married over 20 years & the husband called his wife "the perfect wife" completely from the heart. That alone makes me want to weep.
I am getting to the point where I think is this it? Why am I so afraid of ending it?
I really need some help to see things clearly. I can't actually remember when I last felt really happy with him. :-(