Hi folks

[JamboTam]

Hey ladies, I'm new here and looking for some advice. My relationship has fizzled out in my opinion, I'm 37 and keep myself in pretty good shape, I also work long hours. My other half hasn't worked since Xmas time and mostly sits around smoking canibis all day (which I subsidise as she receives no benefits). She has 2 children that I have brought up for the last 9 years, the r now 20 and 16. I feel like I never see my mates anymore or my family as I just don't have any spare cash once all the bills r paid, plus I work all the overtime I can just to make ends meet. She has been diagnosed with depression, but I really don't know how much more I can take, I feel like a drone as oppose to a human being. Also our sexlife is non existent

Thanks for listening
T

What do you think she'd say if you sat her down and told her that if she doesn't quit cannabis you're going to leave. Maybe she doesn't know how miserable you are? Or maybe she does, in which case I'd leave.

Pretty scary the thought of being alone.

You're already alone, really.

It’s better to be alone than in a bad relationship that drags you down. Sounds like you won’t lose your relationship with the kids and they are old enough to choose to stay in your life thankfully. Once the younger has gone to university how would you see your life playing out with her? You can’t rescue her.

And from what you said, if you no longer lived there she'd get financial support from the State, so she wouldn't be penniless. Couples look after each other, but it sounds as if the looking after is all one way in your setup.

I know how hard it is believe me but do not on any account allow yourself to be manipulated by threats of suicide. I've been there years ago and know others who have been in that situation. Its despicable behaviour.

You are more alone in a crap relationship. You will love being free to breathe. Best wishes.