Opinions on stopping contact

[GeriLea]

As the title says really.
Il not get into the nitty gritty. My partner and I split at Christmas time. Was through a mixture of cheating, drugs, alcohol and gambling. The man has had chance after chance with my son (2yo) and keeps letting him down. To the point where he would rather buy drugs then contribute financially to his son. Emotionally he isn't there for his son either. Let him down time and time again.
In nearly 10 months, my son has seen his dad a handful of times. It's if and when it suits him- usually when he has no money so he starts to grovel and say he misses him. Now I know my son idolises his dad so I usually give in. (I'm always there, we will take him for a walk for about an hour).
It's getting to the point though where I literally can't take no more! He was meant to be coming to our home this morning and contributing to a new push chair. He gave me some cock and bull story about overdraft fees and I believed him. I later get a text saying he's in the pub off his face!
My little boy has to go through some treatment (nothing serious) for a problem he has, which is literally going to see him at hospital every week for the foreseeable next few months and although it isn't serious it's still going to be a massive ordeal for my little boy! I just can't take him getting hurt anymore and I've told my ex what he has to go through, expecting him to pull his finger out and low and behold he hasn't again turned up and is in the fucking pub!!!
My little boy is starting to be aware of things now and I don't want him getting hurt when his dad doesn't turn up. It's so heartbreaking seeing his little face light up when "daddy" gets mentioned but then there's no signs of him. But then I don't want to be the worst mother in the world from stopping my son from seeing his dad, even though I know he really couldn't give a shit about him! Maybe when he's sober and not high but then days are very rare.
I'm a single mum and there is literally only me to look after him, so money is also really tight till I can get back to work when he starts nursery. I even said £10 a week would help- but nothing!
I'm so frustrated and upset for my son that this has happened again! Am I within my rights to stop contact all together to save the heartache or just keep playing by ear and letting by boy appreciate time with his dad when he can be bothered with him? Advice please

Anybody

I would start saying, you can have contact with our son on X date at X time (when it is convenient for you). Don't tell your son in advance that he's is coming, that way he won't be disappointed if he doesn't show. That way, you are giving him the opportunity to see his son if he does suddenly develop a conscience, but it means you aren't being messed around by someone who thinks they can name the time/day they will drop by and then doesn't show. I would also put a case in to CMS, it might not get you much if he is a waster/frequently unemployed/ cash in hand etc but it doesn't sound like you're getting much from him anyway so let them handle it...

I totally agree with what Flop just said.
I think I'd set it for every three weeks at this stage as he hasn't seen ds much and this seems a realistic goal (You can always increase it, if ex turns up regularly). If he doesn't turn up, then he'll have to wait until the next date in three weeks time.
Definitely don't tell ds that his dad is expected, so he's not upset if he doesn't arrive. It's easy to do it at this age, but will get more difficult as he gets older.
You may want to impose some 'rules' too, such as not being drunk or under the influence of drugs during the visit, and that he lets you know beforehand if he's not going to turn up.
Is there any male that is close to you and him such as a brother or cousin or long term friend, that would be willing to take a special interest in ds and be a role model for him throughout his childhood?

Either consistent healthy safe contact that is in the best interests of your DS or none is much better than what your exP is inflicting on DS.
Set a simple but concrete list of absolute 'rules' in regards to contact, written / email / texted to exP - explaining in black and white that this is essential for best interests for DS that these conditions are followed, if these are broken then and DS is distressed or endangered (you mentioned drugs use by exP) then stop contact? Difficult situation but ultimately, although stopping contact would upset DS in the short term, you have his long term best interests at heart and in mind. Good luck 🍀